parenting in the wild

Sometimes I feel like a bad mom

2012-01-28T23:22:00.000-09:00

I think all parents have moments when we feel like we're doing a bad job raising our kids. "I should have been more patient. I should have listened more closely. I shouldn't have yelled. I shouldn't have laughed. I shouldn't have let that slide. I should have been more encouraging."

I know you know what I mean. I'm not perfect and I'm certainly not a perfect parent. I DO need to be more patient and encouraging and all that, you know? And I'm working on it. But sometimes, oh sometimes you guys, something happens that makes me realize that I'm not totally screwing my kids up after all and then I feel like Awesome Mom for about half an hour... until someone handcuffs someone else to the dining table right before they start throwing Legos across the room at each other. Ahem.

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I was watching TV with my 13yo tonight and a commercial came on that advertised an upcoming movie. The movie in question is rated R for language.

Kid: Wow, that movie is rated R for language, not for violence or nudity or anything else, just language. Gosh, that must be a lot of swear words, right mom?

Me: Well, there are probably some other words in there that are really bad, not just swear words.

Kid: Huh?

Me: Well, like the n-word, for example. That's a terrible word, but I guess it technically isn't a swear word.*

Long pause.

Kid: What's the n-word?**

You guys, my teenage son has never heard of the n-word! Not just "He's never heard anyone use it in conversation," or whatever. But he has never actually HEARD OF the word. Like, at all!

I guess I'm not such a bad mom, after all. And I'm going to feel good about that for 30 minutes, starting... now.

* I obviously do not use that word. And I don't hang out with people who would use that word or anything like it. Because, duh.

** I did explain, by S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G and saying aloud words that rhyme, what the n-word actually IS. And I gave examples of other words, which he also had never heard of, that are insulting to other groups of people and explained why we don't use THOSE words either.

Bribes for good grades, yes or no?

2012-01-23T23:39:00.000-09:00

I have four children--one in preschool, two in elementary school, and one in (eep!) middle school.

Obviously I'm not concerned about the preschooler's grades since she's not being graded on anything. I'm more concerned with her learning to tie her shoes before starting Kindergarten in the fall. And I'd also like her to quit showing her heinie to other kids in the bathroom. Seriously kid, quit it! Mooning went out of style before I was even born!

The two kids in elementary school are doing just fine, learning age-appropriate material at a pace I am happy with. Their behavior is good, their attitudes are good, everything is just peachy with those two.

It's the middle-schooler I'm having trouble with. This kid, oh this kid, he's killing me with his teenager attitude towards school, which totally does not compute with me since I've always LIKED school!

The middle-schooler's pattern is this:

Tell mom I have no homework today. Enjoy my free time.
Mom gets an email summary of my grades on Monday morning. I am getting a D+ in math.
Mom grounds me until next Monday, when my grade report shows that I am now getting a C or better in every class, including math.
I'm ungrounded. Yay!
Tell mom I have no homework. Enjoy my free time.
Rinse.
Repeat.

Look, I totally get that the kid wants to dink around on Facebook or whatever, all right? I get it, I really do. I want to dink around on Facebook and ignore the laundry/dishes/vacuuming/grocery shopping, too!

However.

The standards for acceptable grades in this house are--and have always been--C or better or you're grounded.

If you are getting an A in a class, I will assume either (1) you're very good at this subject or (2) this isn't your best subject, but you're trying really, really, really hard. Way to go!

If you are getting a B in a class I will assume either (1) you're pretty good at this subject or (2) this class is sort of hard for you and you're trying pretty hard. Way to go!

If you are getting a C in a class, I will assume either (1) this class isn't your favorite/best but you're trying really hard, or (2) there are extenuating circumstances (you don't like dissecting animals, there is a bully in your class, you've been ill, etc.) but you're trying really hard anyway. Way to go!

If you are getting a D or an F in a class, I will assume that (1) you are lazy/not trying AND that (2) you are lying to me about not having homework. If you are getting less than a C in any class, you are grounded until your grades improve. End of story, no discussion--quit watching TV, no you can't get on Facebook, go do your darn homework. Right. Now.

I assume these things about the D and F classes because if the class was really all that hard for you, I would have heard about it by now. I would have seen you struggling to memorize the periodic table of elements, you would have asked me to help you memorize the Preamble to the Constitution, you would have covered the dining table with your textbook, highlighters, notebook, pen, and a variety of snacks. But no, I have not seen any of this because YOU told me that you didn't HAVE any HOMEWORK and can you please play the Wii, now?

Ahem.

Anyway, my point... I was getting to it.

The middle-schooler is a smart kid--he's been in the gifted program at his school since second grade--but there is no middle ground with his grades. If he is getting a C in a class, his homework assignments have received either A's or D's (and F's), with almost no B's or C's.

What's happening is this: he puts a lot of effort into the homework assignments (or subjects) he enjoys and blows off the rest--doesn't turn it in, doesn't finish it, or doesn't do it entirely. This results in some interesting report cards, let me tell you.

Things I have tried that didn't work:

rewarding him with money when report cards are sent home (a certain dollar amount per letter grade)--this had no effect on his grades
rewarding him with an excursion/occasion (spending the night at a friend's house, trip to the zoo, etc.) when report cards are sent home--this also had no effect on his grades
allowing extra privileges (staying up later during the week, more video game time, etc.) until his grades began dropping--this had a negative effect on his grades, staying up later also had a negative effect on his attitude
discussing the importance of an assignment notebook, demonstrating a simple system to use it--this had no effect on his grades (I don't think he was even listening)
explaining the impact poor study habits will have in the future--this also had no effect on his grades
lectures/"I'm so disappointed in you" speeches--this, too, had no effect on his grades
removal of privileges/early bedtimes--this had no effect on his grades and resulted in a surly attitude
contracts with himself (as a goal-setting exercise); he wrote what he planned to do and signed it, but did not follow through--this had no effect on his grades
explaining how certain types of knowledge apply in the real world (math, biology, etc.)--I don't think he sees the connection, so this had no effect om his grades
conversation with the kid about what he thinks will motivate him--this had no effect on his grades, he listed a combination of things we have already tried and a bunch of "I don't know"

Things I have not done and will not do:

corporal punishment
deprivation of life necessities (sleep, meals, shelter, seasonally-appropriate clothing, etc.)
humiliation (public or private)
extra chores before homework/study is complete (after homework is done would be okay)
doing my child's homework for him (just... NO--I'll help sometimes, but that's it)

Things I have not tried but would be willing to do/consider:

after school tutoring or mentoring program
extra chores after homework/study is complete
isolation ("Sit here by yourself, do your homework. You can interact with the family when your homework is complete.")
give an item as a reward when report cards come home (iPod, video game he wants but doesn't have, something really "big", etc.)
daily grade summary emails from the school (not sure if the teachers update grades on the website daily)
homeschool (I really don't want to do this, but if it's the best thing for my child, than of course I will do it!)

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I used to work for a company that had serious problems with employee motivation. The motto in my particular work group was "Let 'em fail." It sounds harsh, but after spending three years doing my co-workers jobs in addition to my own work (while not getting all the credit), I understand the point of that motto all too well.

My co-workers, like my son, had the tools they needed to succeed, but they continued to fail and they failed spectacularly. It was a combination of laziness and apathy--they didn't try, they didn't care, and they didn't care to try.

I wonder if "letting my son fail" (and potentially repeating this grade next year) would be the motivation he needs to succeed or whether that would be de-motivating for him, causing a domino effect of failing grades in the future.

What do you think? Have you faced a similar situation with your own child--what did you do? Were you a student like this when you were in middle school--what did your parents/teachers do?

Fashion in the Last Frontier

2012-01-19T09:58:00.000-09:00

Well things are back to normal around here after yesterday's protest (as normal as they ever are). At least, I think they are. I can't really remember what my blog looked like before yesterday. I'm going to say it's because I look at my blog in 'edit' view and you'll agree to believe me, okay?

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I don't really write much about fashion, you may have noticed. I mean, this isn't a fashion blog (and who would read a fashion blog written by an Alaskan? Besides you, obviously!), but I am a girl and I do like clothes, jewelry, shoes, purses, and makeup.

Recently, I've gotten into watching What Not To Wear. And it's gotten me to thinking about my fashion style, which I suppose I would describe as "practical." And by practical, I mean "comfortable and warm, with pockets."

Most days I do not wear makeup because I can't see without my glasses to put the makeup on in the first place. So that means contacts, which I think are a lot of bother. Preferred hairstyle: ponytail. An outfit that I would wear to work (at the college), school (also college), parent-teacher conferences, grocery shopping, hanging out with friends, and hanging out at home: jeans, T-shirt, vest with pockets, and sneakers.

I'm sure you're thinking what I'm thinking: my style needs an update, stat!

But before we do that, let's discuss my body type and shape and other stats about me.

I'm 5' 2", which is exactly 2 inches taller than my Tlingit grandmother. I'm Tlingit, too, obviously, and I have the high cheekbones and round face that it typical of my people. My eyes are shaped like an upside down smile (a rainbow!) when I smile. My father is white and I inherited his pale skin, scoliosis, excellent blood pressure, and hair that is prone to the frizzies in dry weather (like now). My hair is brown, my eyes are a greenish-hazel color.

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Now for the clothes! Let's break it down piece-by-piece.

TOPS:

I wear T-shirts most of the time, usually with a sweater, vest, or cardigan. There are a couple of reasons for this. Superior dry cleaning services are not something we're known for up here in Alaska. One of my rules of thumb when shopping is this: no dry-clean only clothes. I hate ironing, too, which makes T-shirts an easy choice. But are they flattering? Pretty? No to both.

The Girls are also quite, erm, large. If you're a woman and you've ever given birth, I want you to think back to the day your milk came in after the birth of your baby. Do you remember how large your girls were that day? That's how big mine are right now, when I'm not nursing. Finding tops that fit the girls AND my tiny shoulders is tough. Really tough. T-shirts are stretchy and seem like a sensible choice.

BOTTOMS:

I like jeans so I wear them a lot. They're comfortable and they have pockets. I work in a college where 'dressing up' is done only on Tuesdays as sort of a continual spirit week type thing and even then not everyone participates. I have other types of pants that are comfortable and have pockets (slacks, corduroys, etc.) but I rarely wear them. No real reason, I suppose, I just habitually reach for jeans first I guess.

SHOES:

I generally wear some sort of running-around type shoes. Sometimes I wear my winter boots inside all day, but not often. Mostly I wear my brown Converse sneakers or my fuzzy-inside slippers that look like loafers. They're comfortable but not very exciting. In the summer, I tend to wear some type of sandals (assuming they're permitted at my workplace) flats, or, you guessed it, sneakers.

DRESSES/SKIRTS:

I do own several dresses and skirts, but not all of them are flattering on me. Some of them I've had since high school, so they're out-of-date as well (1993 anyone?). In the winter, it's usually too cold to wear a skirt or a dress for a non-special occasion. Yesterday, it was quite cold, today it is also quite cold (-20 today, -25 yesterday). Not a good day for dresses, if you ask me.

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Next time, we'll talk about what I should be wearing. And maybe I'll get to work on some Before pictures. (No promises!)

Alaska loves the internet

2012-01-18T11:06:00.000-09:00

I, too, am going dark today in protest of SOPA and PIPA. You can learn more about the strike here and join the strike yourself, if you're into that sort of thing.

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Alaska is a beautiful place, especially in the winter. The skies are a gorgeous clear blue and the snow sparkles in the sunlight like a field of tiny diamonds. At night, you can see every star (because it's really damn dark). It's truly lovely here. Even when it's cold. It's -25 at work today, which makes the -15 at my house seem relatively balmy by comparison--yes, both of those numbers are negative. 25 degrees below zero at work, 15 degrees below zero at my house.

Alaska is lovely in the summer, too.

Most Alaskans have Internet access in one form or another--granted, lots of us have dial-up, DSL not being available statewide--and we turn to the Internet to stay in touch with our friends and family who live outside the great state of Alaska, to purchase items not available for sale within the state of Alaska or that are only available in Anchorage, where the majority of us do not live and prefer not to visit.

I've written a bit before about how much I enjoy living in my tiny town and it's just as true today as it was when I wrote it another time: small towns rock! However, small towns are quite... small. And in Alaska, small towns are quite a bit smaller than what you may be imagining--we have 1.2 persons per square mile. There are a lot of empty square miles around here.

I hate to think how isolated I would feel without the internet connecting me to my family in Washington state, Texas, and many states in between.

2011, a year in (brief-ish) review

2012-01-10T12:09:00.000-09:00

I didn't make any resolutions for 2011, so at least I didn't break any right? It's not that I think resolutions are old-fashioned or anything, I just... didn't make any for 2011 is all. This year, oh this year is going to be different. I'm in a different place than I was a year ago--a better place--and that alone bodes well for the rest of 2012.

2011 wasn't bad exactly, but I think I was focusing on the wrong things.

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I began the year working in a job I knew I shouldn't have taken and... it ended rather badly. I don't know how much of my bad experience at that job was due to job-related issues (co-workers, etc.) and how much was due to my expectations of negativity, but there you have it, a very negative work experience is now permanently etched on my resume. Ugh.

That job offers some pretty amazing opportunities to the particular team I was on and I did get a chance to travel to the state capitol in Juneau and meet with legislators to advocate for an issue that is near and dear to my heart--without that job, I wouldn't have had that opportunity and it was amazing and I'm glad I had that opportunity. But the stress! That was easily the most stressful job I've ever had, and that's including the job where I was my ex-husband's supervisor! (Before he was my ex, but during the time I discovered--on my birthday no less--that he was cheating on me with my best friend. Yikes. Stressful times.)

So I focused on a no-good job. Clearly the wrong thing to do.

I got excellent grades in 2011 and made substantial progress towards completing my 4-year degree in accounting. I also completed the last courses for two additional 2-year degrees and I graduate with both of those in just a few months. I'm quite proud of that.

They say, however, that college students can only have two of the following:

Enough sleep
An active social life
Good grades

I chose good grades, volunteer work, and a stressful job--I should have chosen sleep!

I have almost completed my volunteer work. Just one more commitment to see through at the end of this month and I'm done with one volunteer group. I finished my last commitment with my other volunteer group in November--a huge relief!

So I focused on giving back to the community, which sounds great in theory, but it was at the expense of things that should have been higher on my list of priorities. Clearly the wrong thing to do.

I eventually left the stressful job and accepted a temporary (HA!), part-time (HAHAHA!) job to add accounting experience to my resume. I adored the job, enjoyed the heck out of my co-workers, and the commute wasn't even all that bad. But the pay was, well, it was insulting. I would still be there but I couldn't justify being paid more than $20 less than industry standard on a full-time, permanent basis just to add accounting experience to my resume--to put it in perspective for you, the wage was so low that I was spending approximately 1/4 of my earnings on gas to get to and from work! I think that was the hardest decision I made in 2011. And I still wonder what would have happened if I had stayed.

So I focused on improving my marketability for when I graduate with my degree in the spring of 2013. I'm undecided on whether that was the right thing or the wrong thing. At least it was only for the summer.

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In the fall, I returned to my regularly scheduled life of work/school/family, but with a much less stressful job this time around. It's so stress-free that I spend the majority of my time at work bored to tears with nothing to do but read novels or work on homework (hence the excellent grades) while I wait for the phone to ring or for someone to need me for something.

I'm professionally unfulfilled is what I'm saying.

But academically, I'm right on track.

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At the beginning of this post, I said 2012 will be different. Better. And I think it will because I'm changing my focus.

I will focus on my single remaining degree.
I will focus on getting excellent grades.
I will not volunteer for things I don't want to do.

So there you have it. A brief-ish review of 2011 and some plans (not resolutions!) for 2012.

weather, college, etc.

2012-01-09T12:01:00.000-09:00

I had great intentions of going to town today and running some errands. I have thank you cards to mail to various grandparents thanking them for their thoughtful Christmas gifts. I needed to go to the bank, Blockbuster, the library, and I am almost out of gas, so I definitely needed to go to the gas station. Preferably one on the way to town (just in case, you know).

Plus the kids drank all the milk again. So I really couldn't put it off any longer. Groceries must be purchased!

You know those theremometer thingys in your car? The ones that tell the temperature outside? I have one! And I thought it was broken this morning. No way could it be +2* at my house and -18* in town, right? Right. "Town" is only 10 minutes away, like 5 miles--not that far, really. Certainly not far enough away to be that much colder. But it was. The -18* reading was accurate. Actually, it was a wee bit generous if certain bank clock thermometers are to be believed (which they are NOT).

So I did some of my errands. I went to the bank and the gas station. That's it. No grocery shopping. (I darn near froze my tail off pumping gas, so no thank you to the multiple trips to the truck to bring in groceries.)

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I got an alarming email from my college's financial aid office over the weekend. The weekend, when I can do nothing about alarming financial aid emails! Because they are closed on the weekends! I can only assume this is a horrible plot to drive me insane long before finals week. Garh.

I prefer, if possible, to not speak to people on the phone. A slight phobia, perhaps.

Anyway.

I prefer texting, emailing, Facebooking, etc. But because classes start on Tuesday next week (not Tuesday-tomorrow thank God!), I really did need to call the financial aid office. And I needed to do it today.

So I called the financial aid office. (At my home campus, not the larger campus in Anchorage. Because I actually KNOW the people in the financial aid office at my home campus and what's more, I like them. Nice folks.) Apparently, the financial aid "system" does not like the fact that I am pursuing more than one degree. Because it puts me at having slightly more credits under my belt than normal people. Or something. So for me, this means two things:

No more taking classes just for fun. The classes I take must be required for my degree or I cannot take them.
I have to create an Academic Plan that says that I will only take required classes. And it has to be signed by me and my advisor.

I wouldn't say I have a problem with doing these things, but I will have to bring my niece and my daughter with me. And they, at ages 3 and 4 respectively, can get a little... rowdy.

Writer's Workshop: 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want

2011-12-15T13:47:00.001-09:00

This week at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, I chose the prompt "10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want." This was a fun prompt and I spent most of the day thinking about it, writing it, and looking at pictures. I think I may do another post like this someday about gifts I would have liked to receive for Christmas when I was a teenager.

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My family, though not poor, lived as though we had no money when I was a child. Partly because my parents made double house payments every month (to pay off the house sooner, obvs) and partly because my dad is known for his, er, thriftiness, my Christmas wish lists went largely unfulfilled. There were some fabulous gifts I had dreamed of as a child, paging through JCPenny' Holiday Catalog, circling pictures of the things I wanted for Christmas. Sadly many of the wish list items never arrived on the back of Santa's sleigh.

10. Barbie's Dream House. My childhood best friend, Carrie, and her sister had a Barbie Dream House that they graciously shared with me whenever I spent the night at their house. But what I really wanted was one of my own! I would have willingly shared it with MY sister, even though she cut off all of Skipper's hair. But alas, I never received my very own Barbie Dream House for Christmas, no matter how good I ~~told Santa I~~ was.

photo credit: squidoo.com

9. Barbie's RV and/or (preferably AND) Corvette. Barbie needs more than a place to live, she needs a car so she can go to work to pay for that fabulous house and an RV for her vacations with Ken and Bald Skipper. I even had the perfect parking space all picked out--under my bed.

photo credit: barbielistholland.com

8. A Care Bear Cousin. Specifically Cozy Heart Penguin. I only had one Care Bear growing up, and he was lonely. My mean little sister wouldn't let me play with her Care Bear and mine needed company. Solution? A Care Bear Cousin! I thought that Cozy Heart Penguin and Good Luck Bear would have enjoyed hanging out together and, of course, playing with me. (I finally did get a miniature Cozy Heart Penguin ~~for myself~~ several years ago, but it's not quite the same as the real thing.)

photo credit: tfamilytoystore (ebay)

7. Strawberry Shortcake Rag Doll. I adored Strawberry Shortcake when I was little. I saved my Strawberry Shortcake topper from my 6th birthday cake for years ~~until it got lost during a move when I was in my early 20's~~. That was the only Strawberry Shortcake doll I ever had and, though I watched her TV show religiously, gave out Strawberry Shortcake Valentine's, and begged my parents endlessly, I never did get a Strawberry Shortcake rag doll.

photo credit: strawberryshortcake1991.com

6. Babysitters Club books, the complete collection. Now, lest you feel sorry for me, I did own several of the Babysitters Club books, but I was determined to own all of them, the whole set! My parents, however, were mean and declared that I had to give some of my other books away to make room for new books. And so I was forced to borrow Babysitters Club books from the library and from my friends at school. At least my friends were nice to me.

photo credit: openlibrary.org

5. New Kids on the Block stuff for my room. Wallpaper, comforter, sheets and pillow case, curtains, if it had NKOTB on it, I wanted it! I did get a fantastic NKOTB watch for Christmas when I was 13 or so (I still have it, it still works). But... I really, really wanted the comforter and sheet set, which would have gone perfectly with the walls in my room which were COVERED (every square inch, all the way up to the ceiling) with NKOTB posters oh-so-carefully ripped from the pages of Teen Beat magazine. Can I just say for the record that every single one of these guys has just gotten hotter over the years?

photo credit: people.com

4. She-Ra Princess of Power dress-up clothes. I love absolutely everything about She-Ra's clothes! The boots! The cape! The belt! The arm cuffs! But mom said "No, that dress is much too short for little girls. You can't have it." My mom is so mean.

photo credit: Eamon O'Donoghue at comicartcommunity.com

I guess I can kind of see her point...

3. The Great Muppet Caper board game. Take a bus, hail a cab, catch four jewel thieves and save the Baseball Diamond! I can't remember where I played that game--at a friend's house I assume--but I loved it so much and I wanted one of my own!

photo credit: boardgamegeek.com

2. A black pony just like Black Beauty. I wrote this on every Christmas list for years and wished for it when I blew out my birthday candles every year, but I never did get that pony. I mean, come on, what little girl didn't want a pony?!

photo credit: picture-book.com

1. A cradle for my Cabbage Patch baby, which I still have, by the way, and she still does not have a cradle. The poor thing sleeps on a shelf where my kids can't reach her. A cradle like this would have suited me perfectly.

photo credit: americanlisted.com

comments deleted

2011-12-02T13:49:00.001-09:00

I added a new widget to this blog for comment moderation. And the damn thing deleted all the comments that my darling readers had left. And now it looks like no one ever comments on my blog ever.

I HAZ A SAD.

I'm officially sick of sick children THERE I SAID IT

2011-12-02T11:18:00.001-09:00

Kind of a recap but not really.

We had one kid get sick almost immediately after Thanksgiving dinner last week. Then just after midnight, another one got sick. THEN right around lunch time the day after Thanksgiving, kid #3 got sick, too. Kid #4 got sick on Saturday morning. Last weekend sucked big time.

Then! On Monday morning, Melody got up and promptly laid down on the couch with a soft pillow and a fuzzy blanket and said "I don't feel good, I should stay home from school." Yeah... If THAT kid says she doesn't feel good, I believe her!

In the mornings, she usually sounds like this:

"I want oatmeal for breakfast!" Apple cinnamon is her MOST FAVORITE THING TO EAT. EVER. She doesn't even care if I get generic instead of name brand at the store! I love kids who can't read!

"Can I wear my pink tutu and my silver tiara to school today?" No. How about jeans and a sweater? "Can I wear my Christmas sweater?" You mean the one you've been wearing at least twice a week since I bought it at a thrift store this summer? Sure, go ahead, knock yourself out kid. "Thank you, mom!"

"What should I bring for show and share today? I know! My magic wand! I can turn all my friends into frogs! Avada Kedavra!" And then I remind her that not only was that NOT the right spell, today is also not show & share day, sorry. Then she stomps off in a huff to put her red, sparkly magic wand with red flower-shaped beads on it back on her bed. (Don't ask.)

All this to point out that when she laid down on the couch on Monday instead of stuffing her face or running off at the mouth, I assumed that she was genuinely sick.

And then she seemed to get better. She was fine on Tuesday. And Wednesday. And all day yesterday!

And THEN I woke up at 2:30 this morning because Melody was hollering for me. I thought she was having a bad dream. WRONG. I didn't think I was going to make it to her room with a bucket in time. I sort of did. But it was close enough that I only had laundry to wash, not carpets to shampoo so I'm calling it a win anyway.

We dragged the mattress off her toddler bed to the middle of the living room floor, set her up with a clean bucket, and she went straight to sleep. For about 20 minutes. Repeat several times until 4:30am--at which point I was terrified to fall asleep--and she again seems fine.

We shall see.

I, however, feel like dog crap. I hadn't actually been asleep at 2:30 when Melody woke up and started hollering "Mom! MOM! MOOOOOOMMMMMM!" I was listening to an audiobook in bed, trying to trick my brain into being bored and falling asleep. (It didn't work.)

I was up until 5 o'clock this morning with a puking kid. And I still had to be at work at 9. Hubby, on the other hand, got most of a night's sleep and gets to stay home in his pajamas. Granted he's staying home with a sick kid, but at least it's only ONE kid. *ahem*

UPDATED: Holiday Hell

2011-11-28T09:56:00.001-09:00

Four sick children. WE HAD FOUR SICK CHILDREN IN MAH HOUSE THIS WEEKEND. And by "we," I mean "I." Because my husband was hardly here Friday and Saturday. He got roped into volunteering for work (Volunteering! For work!!!) on Friday night. I hadn't wanted to go to the volunteer-thing ANYWAY, so I stayed home with puking children. Also, diarrhea-ing children. Some of them were doing both.

We traditionally put up the tree on the day after Thanksgiving, but not this year. Not because the kids were sick, but because the cheapass lights we got on sale last year DIDN'T WORK AT ALL. *sob* But the tree is assembled, un-lit and un-decorated, in the corner of the room... looming and dark. And looming. (It's a tall tree.)

So we decided to put up the tree on Saturday instead. Or go see The Muppets. Or something. But the kids were still sick, so we had to "do something" at home. Decorating the tree it is!

But! Then hubby got roped into helping my mom install a new oven and range hood, because why not? Have fun honey, I'll just be here all alone with four puking/diarrhea-ing children all by myself for the second day in a row while you go hang out with healthy, non-puking grown-ups without me!

But I'm not bitter, oh no. WHY WOULD I BE BITTER? I have puking/diarrhea-ing children, an un-lit and undecorated Looming Christmas Tree of Doom, (drama much?). The living room and dining table are covered with boxes and boxes of ornaments that can't go on the tree until it has LIGHTS, HELLO. And I'm NOT hauling those boxes upstairs by myself because I brought them all down ALL ALONE BY MYSELF. With no help even.

Sunday we were supposed to go to MIL's annual bash. It's sort of a Thanksgiving On The Wrong Day Of The Week but it's really just an excuse to have a few drinks and make hubby drive us home. I hate it. HATE. But ~~conveniently~~ sadly the children who were too sick to make the 45-minute drive to grandma's house. So we had to stay home. Bummer.

Hubby had a friend over for a study group instead. Again with the too busy to help me with the sick kids.

Grounds for divorce. No judge or jury would say no to that, right? RIGHT.

---

So now it's Monday. One of the children hasn't fully recovered from the Thanksgiving Plague of 2011. So that one stayed home today. With me. No surprise there, amirite?

Hubby is at work, hanging out with grown-ups and getting paid for it. The healthy-ish children are at school and I'm at home with a sick kid, just waiting for a phone call from somebody's teacher. Can you come pick up your kid? He's, uh, well puking and diarrhea-ing and he really just, um, needs to go home. With you. All by yourself. Um, Mrs. C.? Are you... crying? Or laughing? I really can't tell.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

Updated: The dreaded phone call just came 10 minutes ago. Sick kid needs to be picked up from school. Since I'm already home with a kid who is way too sick to leave the house, hubby gets to leave work early and go pick up sick kid #2 all by himself. Hahaha! Sweet justice!

College classes, Spring 2012

2011-11-18T05:00:00.000-09:00

Spring in Alaska doesn't really arrive until May or June, so I've always secretly found it funny that the second semester of every school year is the "spring" semester which is over before "spring" actually arrives. Heh.

I registered for four classes for the spring semester--one each in business, accounting, economics, and statistics. What a fun semester this will be, I thought as I clicked the "submit" button to complete my registration.

My college offers courses in three formats:

Traditional/face-to-face
Real-time online (in a chat room), called eLive
Asynchronous online, called web-based

All four of my courses are the third type, asynchronous online. That means I access the course materials, read the textbook, download PowerPoints from the class website, etc. on my own time and then turn in my homework by the posted deadline whenever that might be.

I think I've progressed enough as a student that I can be dedicated and scheduled enough to do this, I really think so.

I have to be honest, though. I've taken web-based accounting courses before and they were really, really hard, so I'm not looking forward to another web-based accounting course.

That's why I was secretly pleased to receive an email yesterday notifying me that the web-based accounting course I had registered for was canceled.

Writer's Workshop: Love Letter

2011-11-16T23:18:00.000-09:00

For Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop, a love letter to an inanimate object:

Dear baby lotion,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee for being cheap and economy-sized
And irritant-free, so gentle to my sensitive skin.
From the top of the bottle to the bottom,
A convenient pump dispenser.
I love thee after every shower and sometimes in between.
I love thee in the summer, but especially in the winter
With its dry air and chilling wind,
So damaging to my poor cheeks and chin.
You heal and repair but are easy on my wallet,
So thoughtful in these economic times.
As surely as I do live and breathe,
I shall stay true to you forever.
When I am old and gray and wrinkly,
I will never love another.

STEP 1--Digital pictures, how to file them?

2011-11-01T12:40:00.001-08:00

I like to use a step-by-stepapproach for developing a records management program, because let’s face it,this subject is intimidating to some and confusing to most.

First, know that a record can takemany forms. Records can be on paper (like tax returns or patient files).Records can be photographic (x-rays and holiday photos). Records can be audio(recorded depositions and CD’s of children’s band concerts). Records can beaudiovisual (DVD’s of children’s holiday plays and videotaped interviews).Records can be digital (email, etc.).

The goals of a records managementprogram are ridiculously simple and they apply to personal and business records:

You need to be able to find what you’re looking for right away.
You must keep records for the amount of time required by law.
You should not keep records longer than you have to.
Records should be destroyed when you no longer need them for business purposes or when you are no longer required by law to keep them, whichever is longer.

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I’m working on developing a systemto manage my digital pictures; today we’ll talk about Step 1, using myunorganized digital pictures as an example.

Step 1: Think aboutit. What sorts of things do I take pictures of? Which of these picturesshould I keep? How do I think I should be organizing them?

Itake pictures of people, animals, plants, and landscapes. I take pictures ofweddings, holidays, vacations, abstract architecture, and miscellaneousartistic subjects.

Ishould keep pictures that I don’t want to lose. And by that I mean “pictures Idon’t want to—or can’t—recreate.”

Ithink I should organize my pictures so I can search for them in multiple ways.For example, a sunset photo of mountains and trees, with a log cabin in theforeground could be filed under “sunsets”, “mountains”, “landscapes”,“architecture”, “Alaska”, or “winter.”

So what does this all mean,anyway?

First, I thought about what kind ofpictures I have already or might have later. Then, I decided what sort ofpictures I want to keep. Third, I thought about how I already search forpictures and decided to store them in the way I will look for themlater.

This is really important, so I'llgive you an example.

Warranties and user manuals. I keep all the warranty information and user manuals foreverything I purchase. These are filed alphabetically by company name. If Ipurchase an iPod made by Apple, the user manual and warranty will be filed withother warranties and user manuals in the "A" folder. If I purchase anMP3 player made by Sony, the warranty and user manual will go in the"S" folder.

But why do I do it that way? You doit differently, maybe better. I thought you might. Not to worry, it's becauseI'm just weird that way. It's not you, it's me. I think we should see otherpeople.

Wait, what? Sorry, I gotsidetracked.

I know from previous experience thatI will say to myself "Where is the user manual for this Sony MP3 player?"Or, my stand mixer quits working and I need the product return information inthe user manual, so I look in the “K” folder for KitchenAid.

You may file things differently thanI do. That’s okay, because you probably look for them differently, too. Thewhole point of having a system to manage your records is to file them in a waythat you will actually look for them. Nothing else even makes sense.

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So the ideal filing system for mydigital photos would not lock a picture into one category but would allow thatpicture to be in multiple categories at the same time.

Next time, we’ll discuss everyone’sfavorite part of this process, inventory!

Step 2: Inventory. Look at all of mypictures--yes, all of them. Where are they currently stored? Are they backed upsomewhere else? What about working files, where are they?

Digital pictures, how to file them?

2011-10-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

As a photography student, you'd think Digital Image File Management 101 would be some sort of required course for my degree, no?

SPOILER: Not only is there no such course, this subject is rarely discussed in class. If it is discussed, the discussion isn't helpful.

So I set out on my own to figure out just how I should be organizing my digital photos. Obviously keeping the original DSC001 file names won't work, but how do I choose a meaningful name for my image files?

And once they're named, what categories do I file them under? And what should I do if my photo fits into more than one category? Do I file it twice or what?

Lucky for me, I used to work in records management and I figure this whole developing-a-filing-system-for-my-pictures should be really easy.*

I even wrote a book once about how to develop a records management program for your business. Really. I did that.**

I like to use a six step approach to developing a filing system:

Think about it. What sorts of things do I take pictures of? Which of these pictures should I keep? How do I think I should be organizing them?
Inventory. Look at all of my pictures--yes, all of them. Where are they currently stored? Are they backed up somewhere else? What about working files, where are they?
Match it up. Compare what I think I should be doing (Step 1) to what I am actually doing (Step 2).
Plan it out. Now that I know what I have and where it's located, how will I arrange it all? Do my photos naturally fall into several broad categories? Which subcategories should I have? Should I use keywords? Tags? Color-coding?
Technology. Will I use technology to help me with my picture filing system? What technology is already out there? Which of these technologies will work for me? Which technologies do I already have? Which will I need to buy?
Do it. Now that I have decided what filing system to use (or create) and what technology to use, get in there, rename, drag-and-drop, color code, apply tags and keywords a little at a time until I'm done.

* Lies.
** Not lies.

I'm still working on step 1, thinking about my ideal filing system. What do I want it to accomplish? What should it look like?

Color

2011-10-27T05:00:00.000-08:00

When I was in a teenager, I wore a lot of dark colors because I didn't want anyone to notice me even though I desperately wanted to be noticed. Ah high school, aren't we glad it's over?

My current wardrobe incorporates flattering pieces in neutrals that go with everything and other flattering pieces in bright pops of color and/or fun prints.

In high school, I would NEVER, EVER, EVER have worn anything red. But now, some of my most favorite pieces of clothing are red. Or purple. Or orange. Or pink. Or bold prints. (I don't wear yellow, it does terrible things to my skin. And I don't wear animal prints, not flattering on me. But there was this zebra print purse that I can't find at the store any more... if you happen to see it on eBay or Amazon, let me know, okay?)

I would never in a million years have imagined that by the time I hit my 30's, I'd be comfortable wearing colors other than dark green, dark blue, gray, or black.

I LIKE being a person who wears red, purple, orange, pink, and fun prints!

And it only took me about 17 years to get here, to boot.

The Biggest Lie I Ever Told

2011-10-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

Years ago when I was a single mom, I was pregnant with kid #3 and had just gone on maternity leave. Valentine's Day happened to be on a Friday that year and I was dreading it. My mom had offered to take the kids overnight and of course I jumped on that, because that meant I could sleep in the next morning!

But that still left me single and very pregnant on Valentine's Day. I was about a month or so from my due date, who was going to take me on a date?

There was only one thing to do. I called up a friend of mine who was the head waitress at a restaurant where I'd worked several years before and asked her if she needed any extra servers for Valentine's Day. She needed me.

I wore my wedding ring, much as it pained me, because I knew there would be questions. Well, not just questions, but Questions from my customers. And I was right.

"Why are you working instead of being on a date with your husband, dearie?"

"Shouldn't you be sitting down? Isn't this a lot of walking for you in your condition?"

"Your husband isn't making you work tonight, is he?"

I lied. I lied and lied and lied to all of them. I told them my husband worked on at Prudhoe Bay Oil Filed on The Slope and would be home next week. We'd celebrate Valentine's Day when he got back. I was just helping my friend out because I didn't want to be home alone folding laundry or something. (Okay, that part was true.)

I suppose I should feel bad for telling such outrageous lies, but what else was I supposed to do? Tell them the truth, that my ex left me several months after we found out I was pregnant with kid #3? That the woman he'd left me for would turn 18 around the time the baby was born in late March? That he'd left me Thanksgiving Day? That I'd thought she was the Other Woman, but it turned out that I was the Other Woman and neither one of us had had a clue?

The truth sounded more like a lie than the lies I told them. Who has that happen to them in real life? Besides me, I mean.

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And that's the story of the biggest lie I ever told.

What about you? Ever told a whopper to equal mine? I'd sure like to hear about it!

To write a novel

2011-10-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

National Novel Writing Month begins on November 1. I'm taking the challenge again this year and writing a 50,000 word novel. I start next Tuesday.

I'm terrified.

I'm excited.

I'm behind on my research for this novel-to-be.

I'm waffling on character names.

Should I include this plot twist?

Am I sure the setting is the right one for these characters and their adventures?

What should I call my novel?

Who will play my characters in the movie?! Aim for the stars, right?

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What about you? Are you writing your novel this November? If you are, I'd love to have you as a writing buddy!

National Novel Writing Month, November 2011--the website

Little things

2011-10-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've been in college for a while now and I've collected many, many reference books relating to my various college degrees and other interests--these books have been purchased brand new with express shipping because I had to have them for the first day of class, used from the library used book sale because they looked interesting, or inherited from various friends and family.

For a long time, my reference books were scattered all over the house--mixed up with my novels on the bookshelf in my room, piled next to the shelf (both sides!) in teetering stacks because I ran out of room on the shelf, on top of and under my desk because I was running out of room on the floor, on the bottom two stairs, on top of and in front of the filing cabinet, and I think I even found a few on my kids' bookshelf.

I either love or use all of these books and can't bear the thought of parting with them. But where to put them? Last weekend, my husband--he really should be sainted, even though we're not Catholic--put together a bookshelf he bought for me, just for my reference books.

Didn't he do a great job?

The shelf in the middle holds my reference books. The shelves to the sides hold DVDs.

This bookshelf is such a simple thing, but what it represents is rather complicated. For years I put up with not being able to find what I needed when I needed it. That changed in a single Sunday morning. Not only do I have a pretty shelf filled with my favorite books, this particular wall in my house was always... well, let's just say it was less than presentable. The bookshelf faces the foot of the stairs and previously had been lined by stacks of boxes of who-knows-what. The kids throw their dirty laundry down the stairs, so that was mixed up in the boxes of whatsit, too.

If you've been putting off a simple change like this, do yourself a favor and take a weekend morning to just do it. It's been a week and this shelf, such a simple thing this shelf, brings me pleasure every time I look at it. I want you to have that, too.

Been meaning to replace those old curtains? Just do it. Want to rearrange your linen closet but just haven't done it yet? Just do it. Bags or boxes of things still hanging around that you've been meaning to take to Goodwill? Just do it.

The pleasure such small things will bring you is greater than you would think.

Happiness & a book review*

2011-10-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

A little background for you new folks:

I'm a college student. This semester, I'm taking the last class for my art degree and the last class for my business degree. I will graduate with both degrees in the spring, leaving me more time to focus on my 4-year degree in accounting, which I will graduate from... oh, let's just say 'eventually.'

An assignment in my art class last week was to begin reading an inspirational book and write a blog post or two reflecting on that reading (portions of this blog post will be copied and pasted into my class blog). My professor said we could read the book she recommended or one we chose ourselves. I chose 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin, who writes a blog by the same name (the link will take you to her blog). I enjoyed this book so much that I've read the whole thing already!

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*Disclaimer: I wanted to write a review of this book because I liked it. I also wanted to write this review so I could use portions of it for a homework assignment. I have not received any compensation for writing this review and I paid for my copy of this book with ~~my husband's~~ my own money.

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'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin is exactly the sort of inspirational book I was looking for when I was at my favorite local book store last week. I wanted a book that was inspirational, lighthearted, and easy to read, but not preachy. This book delivered!

Rubin realized one day that she was in danger of wasting her life. Though she had everything that everyone thinks is necessary for happiness (a good job, a loving husband and wonderful children, a nice place to live, etc.), she still felt disconnected from friends, dejected after minor setbacks, and found herself wondering "Is this it?"

What followed was a year-long project aimed at testing the wisdom of the ages and the opinions of experts regarding what it takes to be happy, all in an effort to be happier herself by the end of the year.

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I read the whole thing in just a few days. I had initially told myself that there are approximately the same number of chapters in the book as remain in this semester and I should really just read one chapter each week for inspiration (Weekly writing prompt! Holla!), I found that I just couldn't put the book down!

I particularly enjoyed Rubin's honesty. Did she succeed in keeping her resolutions each month? No. But she didn't beat herself up for failures in the morning either, she just resolved to do better in the afternoon. I like her "little bit at a time" approach. The idea of a Happiness Project is overwhelming to me, because I can see the potential for so much change in my own life that I can well imagine that it would take a year to address everything! But! If I worked on all the little things every day for a year, would I be happier? I think I would.

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Rather than discuss the book as a whole and potentially give spoilers (which I hate, hate, hate!), I'd rather talk about Rubin's 12 personal Commandments for living and see if I can adapt them for myself.

Her commandments:

Be Gretchen.
Let it go.
Act the way I want to feel.
Do it now.
Be polite and be fair.
Enjoy the process.
Spend out.
Identify the problem.
Lighten up.
Do what ought to be done.
No calculation.
There is only love.

My commandments would be:

Be Kathy.
Start now.
Finish the project.
It's okay to quit.
Go to church.
More IRL, less online.
Sleep more.
Work more.
Play more.
Eat better.
Exercise more.
Love more.

Where I'm From

2011-10-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Inspired by this post using this template.

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I am from stainless steel stock pots full of berries that will be this year's cranberry sauce at holiday dinners, from Tri-Chem designs on pillowcases, and tiny built-in drawers in the closet of my childhood bedroom.

I am from the mobile home, yellow, narrow, dark wood-paneled walls, a wall full of mirrors.

I am from the wild strawberries that I was supposed to pick but not eat yet, and birch trees that go orange-gold in the fall.

I am from the annual Snow Day bet with prizes and opening one present on Christmas eve, from Lonny and Bryan and Otella.

I am from a hot temper and tendency to organize everything.

From "quit telling your brother you want to give him back" and "help your sister with her math homework."

I am from church every Sunday. Youth group on Wednesdays, church camp in the summer.

I’m from Anchorage and Henrietta, fried bread and cornbread.

From the outrageous stories of how each child came to be part of this family. I was found under a rock, my brother left in a basket on the front porch, and my dad's collection of baseball caps on the wall.

I am from the top shelf in everyone's closet. Mom filled them with photo albums, mementos, souvenirs, trinkets, scrapbooks. Boxes of childhood art projects and outgrown baby clothes.

Accent vlog

2011-10-13T21:31:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Swistle's and Jonniker's accent vlogs:

Say the following words:
Aunt, route, wash, oil, theatre, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught.

And answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

Questions I thought should have been on the list but weren't:

What do you call the 48 contiguous states of the USA?
What do you call the motorized vehicle on skis, meant for use in the snow?
What do you call it when you take your four-wheel drive vehicle off-road?

Amazing Mediterranean Chicken

2011-10-12T21:53:00.000-08:00

Writer's Workshop--a recipe that went all kinds of wrong

I'm no chef. Never have been. My mother never taught me how to cook, because she's not so great in the kitchen herself, so everything I know about cooking--and I do mean everything--I ~~learned from my husband~~ taught myself.

Before I met the mister, I tried teaching myself how to cook. Honest, I did. It usually went a little something like this, though:

Me: Mmm, Mediterranean Chicken! That sounds amazing! I totally have to make that for dinner tonight!

Me: Gee, 3 tsp of ground ginger sure sounds like a lot. Oh well, the recipe doesn't lie or it wouldn't be in the book!

Me: Kids! Dinner's ready, come sit at the table.

Me: Okay, so this is Mediterranean Chicken. It has chicken in it! And look at the cute little baby carrots! And doesn't it smell amazing? Amazing!

*everyone takes a bite of The Amazing Mediterranean Chicken*

Kids: Ew!

Me: Ew!

Me: Okay you guys, let's all try just one more bite before we decide we hate it.

*another bite all around*

Kids: Ew!

Me: Ew!

Me: Well. That was about the worst "amazing" Mediterranean Chicken ever, right? Sorry guys, looks like mommy's not such a great cook tonight.

Kids: *wisely do not agree with me... out loud anyway*

Me: C'mon kids, get your jackets. We're having dinner at McDonald's tonight!

Kids: Yay!

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I still have that recipe and I've never tried to make it again.

Ahead of the game

2011-10-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Way back when I had only two kids and one of them was a baby, I got sick a couple of weeks before Christmas. I didn't know it was step at the time, I just thought my throat was sore and was slow in getting better.

After I had been on antibiotics for a few days, I packed up my toddler and my baby and headed out into the insanity that is any store in my town on Christmas Eve. We shopped and shopped and shopped. Looking for the right gift, looking for deals, looking out for the other insane shoppers so as not to get run over in the mayhem.

I never want to do that again. Ever.

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So I started my holiday shopping a few weeks ago. I've all but finished shopping for my nieces and nephews. Three kids to go!

I'm "that aunt" who always gives books for birthday and holiday gifts. If I knew how to knit, they would all get sweaters, but I don't know how to knit, so books it is.

That's half my holiday shopping done, folks. Half. Done before Halloween. Someone help me, I'm turning into my mother!

Inspiration, friends

2011-10-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

I went looking through my bookshelves for an inspirational book, some poems, or quotes or something and I only found one damn book.

~~Someone~~ I gave away all my books of poetry, apparently. Whyyyyyy did I do that? I need them! Now! Argh! It wasn't worth the credit at the used bookstore, I tell you.

So. You get a friendship quote and some rambling instead of whatever I would have written.

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"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over." - Samuel Johnson

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My best friend hasn't always been my friend. There was a time when I didn't even know who she was. I worked with her husband for years before I became friends with her. One day, my boss asked me to work on my day off but I had no arrangements for childcare. My friend's husband suggested asking his wife to watch my children because she didn't work outside the home and, as far as he knew, had no plans for the day.

I asked her. She agreed. But I didn't have any money to pay her. We agreed that I would watch her children the following weekend so she could go on a date with her husband. Free babysitting all around!

We continued to swap babysitting for several months. Our kids wanted to spend time together. We had playdates, birthday parties, trips to the park and the beach.

I can't pinpoint the day or the month that I became friends with my best friend. Our friendship grew slowly through favors asked and received, through the friendships of our children, through spending time together.

I don't know what I'd do without her, now. She's my rock, my reality check, my confidante, my sister.

generic diet cola

2011-10-10T08:30:00.000-08:00

I don't like coffee. Never have. It smells so good, though, percolating in the morning, eggs cooking, bacon frying, bread toasting, coffee brewing. But the taste! Ugh! Sadly, there isn't enough cream and sugar in the world to cover up the taste of coffee.

So I drink generic diet cola instead. My dentist has been on my ass about switching to coffee--the carbonated water erodes the enamel on your teeth, which is bad--but I won't do it. No coffee for me! So I'm looking for a non-coffee replacement for the soda. Gotta have that caffeine, right?

I tried Postum*, but it didn't have enough caffeine (actually, it doesn't have ANY caffeine). And hot chocolate, but it was too hot. I hate burning my tongue. And caffeinated water, which tastes boring. And those energy drink mix-thingys in the foil pouches for a 16-ounce water bottle, but they mostly taste like pepper. Awful.

What works best for me is the strawberry* Crystal Light drink. It isn't actually an energy drink, per se. I watched my husband battle an addiction to energy drinks for two years and I won't put myself through that. No. Thank. You.

My "energy drink" of choice has caffeine, vitamins B6 and B12, but none of that super-addictive stuff in coffee and real energy drinks. What is that stuff? Taurine? Can't remember. Granted, the strawberry taste takes some getting used to, it's quite a change from the cola-flavor I love so much. But I haven't had withdrawal headaches or been excessively fatigued.

I fully expect a gold star from my dentist in six months is what I'm saying.

*Disclaimer: I have not been approached by a company to write a blog about their product. Ever. All thoughts and opinions are entirely my own.

Snow Day

2011-10-09T10:43:00.001-08:00

119. What would you do on a snow day?

Last week, the weather forecast predicted snow for this coming Thursday. Thankfully, the snowy icon has been replaced by a sunny one in my weather app! I wasn't quite ready for all that wintery craziness just yet. Oy.

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In Alaska, our kids don't generally get a day off of school due to snow. Or ice. Or cold. Or moose in your driveway blocking your way to the car, which has totally happened to me. And I had to go to work anyway.

That doesn't mean we don't skip school or work once in a while and blame it on the snow, though. Because we totally do. After we call in to work and say we're snowed in and can't get out of our driveway, we make hot chocolate and have pancakes for breakfast. And homemade soup for lunch. We hang out in our pajamas until well after noon, then we get dressed and go sledding with the dog. He LOVES sledding with the kids! Well, mostly he runs around in crazy doggy-circles while the kids try not to run him over with their sleds, but whatever, he likes it.

Breathless and red-cheeked, we stomp back into the house, shedding bits of snow and drops of water on the rug by the front door. Hang our wet clothes by the heater to dry and slip back into our pajamas. Turn on the TV and check the schedule for cartoons that will rot our brains and lower our IQ.

Rinse. Repeat.

What do you do when you play hooky from work or school?

The planets must be aligned

2011-09-19T00:15:00.001-08:00

This Friday we're supposed to have sunshine, a nice change from the rain we've had for weeks. My mom offered to have all four of my kids spend the night so hubby & I can go watch a grown up movie all by ourselves. It's also payday.

I'm not sure how Brandon and I will manage all by ourselves! With no kids! And money in our pockets!

Maybe we'll watch a scary movie. Do you have any recommendations?

The last movie we saw in theaters was HP7 (of course) in July. We both like comedies and action flicks. I can convince Brandon to see a chick flick, but he has... certain... expectations, if you follow me. Which, no problem. Kids at nana's and all.

I hope mom offers to have the kids spend the night again soon, they've been driving me crazy! With all this rain they haven't gotten as much time outside as they need--trust me, they NEED it--and I'm about ready to ship them off to MIL's house for a week. We'll call it 'camp'.

Finals Week

2011-05-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

It's finals week at the college, but I don't want to talk about that (because it's not over for me until Monday). Let's look at Instagram pictures instead!

Instagram evens out my skin tone so nicely, it's almost like I'm wearing makeup! Which I'm not.

Calculus II. My last class for the semester is on Monday. I have a ton of assignments to catch up on before then. And a take-home test, which is half-finished.

Brandon helping me with my final portfolio for photography class. One more class to take in the fall and then I graduate with my photography degree!

At the bead store. We were choosing beads (purple seahorses is what we wound up with) to make earrings for the neighbor girl's birthday party.

Melody was home sick for a week. She watched lots of Dora and Strawberry Shortcake. Good times.

One of the boys had to dress this 6-inch tall cow as Wilbur Wright for a class project. My kids have weird homework.

The kids are all Terribly! Excited! About the release of the second half of HP7 this summer. Max is currently re-reading all the books so he'll be ready come June/July/whatever month it is.

Joey. The only kid who looks like me.

I stole the Red Hat and made hubby take a picture with me!

Jimmy wants to sell you watch. He promises they aren't stolen.

Like the little engine that could

2011-04-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

I didn't give up on accounting like I had kind of planned to!

I graduated last spring with my AAS Accounting. Cum Laude, thankyouverymuch. I'm working on my BBA Accounting right now and depending on the availability of classes (grr, growl, University of Alaska I hate your online registration!), I will graduate with that degree in the spring of 2013!

I'm still in the digital photography program (1 class to go!) and I will graduate with that degree and an AAS in general business next year.

Why another AAS degree? That's a very good question, I'm so glad you asked!

My BBA advisor noticed that one of the classes I need for my BBA Accounting is the only class I would need to get an AAS in general business, so I figured "Why the heck not?" Just a matter of a bit of paperwork with no additional classes to take. Win-win! It's so win, it's like a free degree!

---

My job is ending in a couple of weeks. No, no, I'm not getting laid off or fired. I'm a student employee at my college and the school year (and my job) are both ending in a couple of weeks. So I've been looking for work.

I had a job interview on Monday for--get this!--an actual accounting job! Squee! And they hope to have their decision made by Friday, as in tomorrow!

Even getting called in for an interview is a big deal for me. Employers in my area want their accounting employees to have a 4-year degree in accounting (which I don't have) and 3-5 years experience (which I also don't have). I have a 2-year degree and 0 experience.

But!

The interview seemed like it went very well. Alex, my interviewer, said twice (!!) that with a 2-year degree I'd "have no trouble doing the work." And, based on some personal-ish details, he also said that I'd "fit in fine here." You just keep thinking about how well I'd fit in and how I'd be able to do the job with no trouble! Just keep thinking that! Yes!

That's all I need, just that first accounting job! Then, other employers will be willing to take a chance on me!

Granted, the job I interviewed for is temporary (don't care!) and they pay a bit less than similar jobs in the area (don't care!), and getting that job would double my commute (don't care!)--I just want that job on my resume!

Top Ten Favorite Books

2011-04-08T21:40:00.004-08:00

So.

I unintentionally took a nearly year-long hiatus from blogging. To get back in the swing of things, I'll be using this for a while.

Top Ten Favorite Books
(in no particular order):

1. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkein--My favorite book since 7th grade! I read it as a class assignment and have read it once or twice a year ever since. I am currently on my third copy of this fabulous book, having worn out the previous two.

(I wouldn't recommend this book for children younger than 10, parts of this book are rather scary.)

2. Magyk (Septimus Heap series) by Angie Sage--A book for tweens. Much like the Harry Potter series, the characters have well developed back stories and there are plots within plots. A delightful magical adventure story that's good clean fun for the whole family!

(Appropriate for all ages, though kids 2nd grade and younger might not understand some key concepts. I haven't read the entire series, but I'm working on it!)

3. Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen--A classic that's just as relevant today as it was when it was written in the late 1700's. No matter how many times I've read the book, uncertainty still lingers. "Will Darcy and Elizabeth get it together or what?!"

(Spoiler: They do!)

4. Pride & Prejudice & Zombies by Jane Austen, re-told by Seth Gramme-Smith--A hilarious re-telling of Austen's classic "Pride & Prejudice", set in a fictionalized England that is overrun by zombies. Everyone who should be eaten by a zombie totally gets what he or she deserves!

(Highly recommended, five stars!)

5. Down the Long Hills by Louis L'Amour--By far L'Amour's most touching novel. A young boy and an even younger girl must travel alone through the early American West in search of the young boy's father.

(Suitable for children as young as 10-12. I've had my own 12YO read this book and he seconds my enthusiastic recommendation!)

6. "One Second After" by William R. Forstchen, forward by Newt Gingrich--Chillingly possible, alarmingly well-written. This book is a should-read for anyone who believes an apocalyptic event could occur in your town, state, country, or our world. This book is a MUST-read for everyone else.

(Reader's tip: Keep the lights on.)

7. "Sh*t My Dad Says" by Justin Halpern--If you're not following this guy on Twitter, stop reading right now and go do that. Mr. Halpern, Justin's father, is a very wise man who doesn't give a shit what you think. He's the funniest thing since Calvin & Hobbes, but with more swear words.

(Laugh-out-loud funny! Don't read this one at your local library, take it home instead.)

8. "The Relic" by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child--Hands down one of the creepiest books I've ever read. Though I've read it more than a dozen times, it has only been the last time or two that I could read it alone after my husband went to bed.

(Leave the lights on, don't read alone. Seriously.)

9. The Monster Princess by J. D. MacHale--My 4YO daughter bought this book with Christmas money from her grandfather. The story of a young troll who wants to be a princess. Wonderful illustrations, poignant story.

(Appropriate for all ages. Even my boys, ages 8, 10, and 12 thought it was "cute.")

10. The Webshifters series (Beholder's Eye, Changing Vision, and Hidden in Sight) by Julie E. Czerneda--Straight up sci-fi with a humorous twist. I adore the main character and really identify with her as she gets herself into ever more trouble as each novel progresses to its inevitable conclusion!

(It might take more than one reading for some key concepts to make sense--that's what happened to me.)

Writer's Workshop: Joe Cool

2010-06-02T22:32:00.009-08:00

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop Post

I miss him.

We've been best friends since the first day of high school. He was late to first period (as usual, I would later learn) and the only open seat was next to me.

One time, when we were 15, Joe snuck vodka (which is clear and totally looks like water if you put it in a water bottle) into school for me to drink during the day. I've never told him this (which means you can't either) but I didn't actually drink it. See, I'm a nerd and didn't want to get suspended or whatever and I, um, yeah, I dumped it down the drain in the water fountain off the commons after taking a tiny sip so my breath smelled like vodka. Because then he would think I drank it and he would think that I was cool, see?

Then in our junior year, Joe transferred to The Other High School, cross-town rivals of My High School (the cool one). We started dating.

I know. Never date the best friend. I know!

So dating Joe didn't work out, exactly. I mean, I had to kiss him and stuff! And we weren't that kind of friends. Most of the time, anyway.

Then he started getting in trouble with the law. One time, when he was on probation, he mooned a cop while he was drunk--back to jail he went. Eventually, he got himself straightened out; held down a job, got married, had some kids, but we lost touch for a while. And then he found me on Facebook. He still doesn't call or write often enough to keep me happy, though. And I wish he'd move back home. But it'll do. For now.

Future

2010-03-01T00:25:00.003-09:00

I figured out why I'm a tad reluctant (ha ha) to drop my accounting degree. Besides the fact that I've been working towards this since before Jimmy (now 9 years old) was born, I'd also have to tell people (eventually) that I dropped the degree. And both of those feel like quitting, never mind both of them TOGETHER.

I heard a great quote somewhere that goes something like "It's better to fail than to succeed at the wrong thing."

And right now, the accounting degree feels like the wrong thing. That actually bothers me a lot, to be honest with you. And if I'm not going to be an accountant, what and who will I be?

An artist?

A writer?

What am I going to be when I grow up?

Decisions

2010-02-26T18:27:00.003-09:00

After some intense soul-searching (watching CSI: Miami) and discussions with my husband (me, whining), I've decided to ride out the rest of the semester with my current course load and leave the actual decision of whether to continue pursuing my accounting degree until summer, when I will have nothing better to do.

It's not just accounting that's got me down, I'm feeling very overwhelmed in general and that I'm failing at everything I do.

I'm not actually failing at anything, but I am not achieving the goals I had set for myself, which FEELS LIKE failing, which is bad enough.

Quitter

2010-02-09T17:18:00.008-09:00

So. Accounting? Is not going well. It's going so badly, in fact, that I'm about 97% certain that I will be changing my major. Assuming I don't drop out of college altogether and run straight for the nearest restaurant, resume in hand. Which is totally tempting, by the way.

Instead of having a jolly good time watching the Super Bowl with my family, enjoying snacks and treats, I spent 10 hours (no joke) on my accounting homework. About 4 of those hours was on ONE PROBLEM.

So that pretty much sucked.

Also, I lost the Super Bowl bet and did not get the Chocolate Bar of Awesomeness for My Chosen Team Winning the Super Bowl. (Like I had a clue when I placed my bet. The only sport I follow is dog sled racing. True story.)

Weirdness at 2:00am

2010-01-26T01:52:00.004-09:00

I had a weird-ass dream the other night and I just... don't want to go to sleep right now.

So I had a dream. Jamie was in it. The, I don't know, ringleader? Of the guys who gang raped me? Yeah, that guy.

Oh. Just realized I hadn't gotten into that topic on this blog before. Hi. I was gang raped a bunch of times when I was a little kid. (Now you're caught up.)

Ringleader. Is that what I should call him? Might as well. The other guys seemed sort of scared of him. At least, I always thought they did.

I don't even remember what my dream was about really, just that he was in it.

It wasn't a bad dream, exactly. But it wasn't a good dream, either.

It was weird.

I know why I had that dream.

My husband wants to buy some property, right? He wants to build a house on it. Or put a trailer on it or something, get us out of the renting loop. I don't know, I kind of interrupted him right after he told me which property he wants to buy.

He wants to buy the lot (which my parents owned) next to the land my family lived on when I was little. The land in between-ish my parents' (old) property and the property (probably still) owned and lived on by Jamie's parents.

I blocked out a lot of that time in my childhood because... duh. And I can't say with 100% certainty that I was gang raped on the land my husband wants to buy, but my gut says I was even if my memory can't back that up. So I'm going with yes I was.

I kind of freaked out on my husband. Which I normally don't do. Because he's a nice guy, very mellow.

I think I said something along the lines of he could buy the property and live on it all he wants but there was no way in hell I was going to live anywhere near there, so there. Only meaner. And with curse words. And shouting.

The last time those guys raped me, I think I was 8. Maybe 7? I don't remember.

That was more than 20 years ago and I'm as "over it" as I probably ever will be. But still.

I won't live on that land. I'm... not mentally healthy enough to do that. And I don't think I ever want to be, either.

Just sayin'.

What really just pisses me off is the way my husband reacted when I said what I said the way I said it.

He pulled that hurt-puppy shit. Retreated into his shell like a burned turtle. Got all quiet and mopey, waiting for me to ask "what's wrong," which I did, and say "sorry," which I didn't. Becauase I'm not. Because I won't live there. I just won't. Not ever.

He said I snapped at him. (True.) And I said "what was I supposed to say?"

He didn't know.

ready or not

2009-12-21T22:06:00.009-09:00

Christmas is almost upon us and I'm not ready! I mean, I'm not as ready as I usually am and I would dearly love to shoot the genius who decided to put finals week halfway between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanks a lot, jerk-face!

Some years, I get my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving. Those years, Christmas is relaxing AND jolly--there's not much that's as nice as being ready for something special long before it happens so when it does get here, all that's left is to enjoy it. That's about as close as I can get any more to the magical feeling Christmas used to bring when I was a kid.

I'm hoping to do Christmas differently next year. What I would really love to do is to do a "homemade Christmas." We did that sometimes when I was little, mostly because money was tight, but still, it was so much fun to do!

One time, my mom had us kids "help" her make homemade stationary. We got typewriter paper (because I'm old and we didn't have computer paper in those days) and plain white envelopes and mom pressed our tiny fingers into black ink, then we put fingerprints on the paper and envelopes. She used a black pen to draw a tail, two ears, and two eyes on the fingerprints to make mice. It was so much fun to get letters from Granny on that stationary. "That's the stationary we made! Look, mom! That's my fingerprint!"

Those are the Christmases I really remember and I want to give those kinds of memories to my own kids.

We sat down as a family this afternoon and came up with some fabulous ideas for homemade Christmas gifts for next year! And we plan to make our own cards, too, because I've finally pared down the Christmas card list to the point that we can make them ourselves without it being too labor-prohibitive. Yay!

You can view the cards we plan to make here: http://familyfun.go.com/christmas/christmas-ornaments/build-your-own-snowman-671398/)

Tense

2009-12-16T01:18:00.005-09:00

When I'm stressed out, my shoulder muscles tense up. I get headaches and have trouble sleeping. And I'm frequently "late" if you know follow me. (Which just stresses me out more--it's a vicious cycle. I can't be, it's no longer possible, so don't worry.)

So even though I've turned in my last assignment of the semester (not two hours ago and I should have the grade in the next couple of days), I'm still a bit tense. And wired. All that caffeine, you know.

A significant stressor in my life had been MySpace. Specifically, people who use it. Like my ex's new girlfriend, who was such a pain that I finally just gave up MySpace completely. Deleted my account on Tuesday, as a matter of fact.

I don't feel better, yet.

Partly because the kids have been obnoxious, partly because it won't stop effing snowing, and Christmas is coming and we're doing more houses this year because my mom moved back home from The City and my dad's not going Outside to visit Granny and we HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO, OMG visit MIL even though the highway goes both ways lady, and Brandon's truck (the one that seats the entire family all at once) broke down so he's been driving my dad's other truck (which doesn't) and I've been driving mine (which doesn't, either), so we have to take BOTH TRUCKS WHENEVER WE GO ANYWHERE (the gas! GAH!) and nobody comes to visit us, even though they can all fit their entire household in ONE VEHICLE (jealous!).

Perhaps I need a drink after I visit my favorite spa for a massage. And maybe Wednesday wasn't such a good day to pick for the Quit Smoking date, hmm?

Oh hi there!

2009-12-01T19:58:00.006-09:00

Oh look! It's been 2 months since I posted a blog! How about that?

----------

The end of the semester (Friday) suprised me yet again, even though I've been keeping a steady countdown since August. Guess the end of the semester looks closer this side of Thanksgiving or something.

I should be able to pull off a B in my accounting class (a holiday miracle!) and I'm doing well in my other three classes--A's in all of them! Yay!

I've registered for all of my spring classes (accounting again, and some other stuff), but between now and then, I get a MONTH'S VACTION! WOO-HOO!

And the best part is that the first and fourth weeks of my vacation are NOT vacation weeks for my older kids! Yee-haw! (Staying at home with just Melody seems like a vacation after staying at home with all of them for two weeks straight. Trust me. I speak from experience on this one).

----------

I've been volunteering in Jimmy's classroom the last few weeks and it's... not my idea of a good time.

Mostly I help with reading time. The kids who are struggling come sit in the hall with me (one at a time) and read their latest (short) book, then they are tested on what they read. It's the most boring thing ever and I hate doing it but I can't come up with a good enough excuse to quit. Rats. Maybe when I'm on vacation I can tell Jimmy's teacher that I don't have anyone to watch Melody during my volunteer time (totally not true).

QuizFail

2009-10-04T22:34:00.007-08:00

I failed another accounting quiz.

And it was my worst fail EVER. A 40%, y'all. It's like I didn't even read the chapter OR do the homework, but I swear I totally DID! And I honestly felt like I had a good grasp on the information. *sigh*

This does not bode well for my exam this week, which is worth 300 POINTS--more than the total of everything we've done this semester PUT TOGETHER. OMG OMG OMG!

Also? During the exam? I cannot leave the room. For 2 to 3 hours. WHAT IF I HAVE TO PEE, TEACHER? WHAT THEN?!

And no notes, either.

Which I guess is a good thing, because I'd probably just wipe with them or something. Cuz it's not like I'm allowed to go to the bathroom. Hope we have a trash can in the room.

But I can bring a calculator! And a pencil! And scrap paper is provided!

So, my point?

My anxiety is starting to kick in and we can expext a full-blown panic attack any day, now.

I've had depression, anxiety, and panic attacks for years, but the last year or so has been particularly bad. Especially bad when I was on some stop-smoking drugs (which didn't work, obvs). That depression was so quick and so bad that I didn't realize it was even happening until it was over.

Afterwards, it was like waking up. I had energy. I paid attention. I didn't sleep, except at night. I went outside. It was awesome but creepy. How far down that hole had I been that a return to real life felt like a rebirth?

cow pie

2009-09-29T23:08:00.003-08:00

Disclaimer: This blog has nothing to do with cow pies. My last two posts were farm-animal-related (llama-face and I Feel Sheepish) and it seemed only right to continue with the farm animal theme.

Also, come to think of it, “llama-face” and “I feel sheepish” are lines from Disney movies which is awesome but I’m pretty sure that “Cow pie” isn’t a line from a Disney movie which is too bad because it would be awesome. Like when I realized that “Lilo & Stitch” had “Back in Black” by AC/DC on its sound track. That kind of awesome!

So yeah. No cow pies and no awesome.

Just another day in the woods.

Anyway.

I've been off the internet since last Thursday. You'd think the house would be cleaner, but no.

The power surge after our power outage on Thursday night fried our modem and we just got the new one yesterday. But look! I'm back! And I have internet again! Yay!

School? Is not going well. We've had three quizzes in my accounting class and I've failed two of them. TWO OF THEM. FAILED! (Got a B+ on the other one.)

Accounting is SO HARD. Also? It's been four years since I had beginning accounting and now I'm taking intermediate accounting and not only have I forgotten everything I ever knew (I have), it's SO HARD. OMG.

Cookie dough ice cream helps, though. Honest. So there's that.

My other classes are great, A's in all three. But the accounting? IS SO HARD.

Feel sorry for me, please!

I Feel Sheepish

2009-09-11T16:13:00.004-08:00

You know what I love?

I love the looks on people's faces when they find out I've got a double-major. They look so impressed! It's awesome.

What could be cooler than people thinking I'm awesome? People thinking I'm crazy, that's what.

Naturally, after people find out about my double-major, they want to know what my majors are. Answer: Bachelor's in Accounting and AA in Digital Photography.

Go look in the mirror, quick! You've got that "She's a weird chick" look on your face. (Please have your spouse take a picture of you and email it to me. I'm doing a photoblog.)

Oh and guess what's even cooler than my weird/crazy double-major!

I'm not actually enrolled in the Accounting Bachelor's Degree Program.

So to re-cap: I'm crazy and/or weird (your choice) and apparently a liar, on top of it.

Brilliant.

Oh yeah, I'm that, too.

P.S. The not-enrolled thing is a simple oversight on my part and will be rectified shortly.

P.P.S. I love the word "rectified" because it sounds naughty, even though it's TOTALLY NOT NAUGHTY.

Random: I was outside just now taking a smoke break with the Dean of my college (because my college is awesome that way) and I saw this in the backyard and of course I thought to myself "I have to blog this!" Yeah. You're welcome.

Yes. That really IS the door from a bathroom stall in the backyard at my college.

The Dean asked me what I was doing with my camera and I said "I have to take a picture of that stall door for my blog! It's awesome!"

The End

llama-face

2009-09-09T13:52:00.013-08:00

My neighbors across the street have three llamas; a white one, a brown one, and a black one. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but I have proof:

Once a week or so, they escape from their fence and wander to the end of my driveway (not pictured, slightly behind and to the left of the llamas) to eat weeds.

The neighborhood dogs go CRAZY.

And about ten minutes later, the guy who owns the llamas comes walking down the road to send them home like naughty children who are playing outside past dinner time.

The looks on their faces? "Oh crap! Here comes Dad! Run for it!" Priceless.

P.S. These llamas just might be alpacas, but I never learned to tell the difference. But I do know the difference between reindeer and caribou, so bonus points. (Caribou are just reindeer that live in subarctic North America, reindeer are just caribou that live in Siberia/Scandinavia. For all intents and purposes, reindeer and caribou are the same critters.)

Week One: 60% Complete.

2009-08-26T21:37:00.008-08:00

Monday rocked!

Brandon went to work pretty early and the boys wanted to be driven back and forth to school for the first day, so no bus for them. (It's kind of a tradition around here.) Other than that, Melody and I didn't leave the house. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed my THREE HOURS IN A ROW (!!!) of peace and quiet while Melody took a nap. I opened the window, listened to the rain, ate some cookie dough ice cream, and caught up on my blog reading. In my pajamas!

I had my first real-time online (called eLive) class Monday night. I logged in to the website from my laptop in my bedroom and attended class on the college-based chat-style class site. I love attending classes this way. You know what Yahoo Messenger looks like when you're photosharing? My eLive classes look rather like that. So fun!

I went back to my first full day of work and school on Tuesday. 8am to 7pm sounds like a long day, but I had such fun catching up with people I haven't seen since May that it felt like it went by quickly. I'm sure I won't feel that way come November...

Today was another at-home day for Melody and me. Other than taking her to therapy this morning, that is. But I got to sit in the lobby BY MYSELF while I finished my book! (Loved the book, am buying it.)

-----------------------------------------------

On a side note, if you're interested in taking come college classes yourself, you, too can take eLive classes from my college!

One of my classmates this semester is attending our business class from Texas. I hear that last year, we had a student attending eLive classes from Australia. Also, my college doesn't charge out of state tuition like some universities do. Since we're considered part of the University of Alaska Anchorage, almost all the credits you'd take would be transferrable, too. And who knows, maybe we'd be in class together some time!

The advisor of the Digital Photography degree program has moved out of our area while still retaining her position. She's working on moving the entire degree program to an on-line format with the bulk of the classes available via eLive. Some classes would be offered in the standard online format in which lectures are pre-recorded; you access the lectures at your convenience, do the assignments, and email them to your instructor by the posted deadline. So if you're interested in a degree in digital photography...

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Kind of got off topic, there. I really am excited about the new class format (obviously), but I didn't mean to go all college recruiter on you. I'll work on that, I promise!

Also...

I'm joining a club this year!

The art club sponsors a group called Critical Eye. Club members bring current work to the monthly meetings for critique. There are challenge assignments and (hopefully) field trips! And contests! And snacks!

Can today just be OVER, now?

2009-08-19T22:51:00.005-08:00

Today sucked big time.

More like "suh-hucked," actually.

Number One: Kids = animals. All freaking day with the screaming, the name-calling, the whining. Dear God the whining! I swear, if nothing else kills me, the whining sure will! Max went off to Anchorage with my dad on Monday morning to help him find a travel trailer for dad to live in for the winter. Dad bought a mobile home a while back, which turned out to be a TOTAL LEMON. Pops missed the infestation of dry rot, apparently. Whoops. I was hoping the couple days in Anchorage would help Max's CRAP ATTITUDE by the time he came home. I was hoping for sunshine and rainbows but got a big pile of CRAP ATTITUDE instead. From all the kids. The younger three apparently didn't miss him. At all. And expressed their displeasure at Max's return by: whining (I did mention this, right?), fighting, name-calling, sassing mommy, throwing stuff, hitting each other, and generally being rude.

Number Two: Bad news = can't discuss just yet without hubby's kind permission. But it was really bad and completely unexpected. Totally out of the blue. And just when everything seemed so peachy, too. (Apart from the whining, obviously.) Can't fix it, just recover from it, which he's working on as we speak.

Number Three: Money in the mail = not. A crap ton of money is supposed to hit either my bank account or my mail box any second now. It was reportedly sent out Friday and it's only coming from Anchorage but it isn't here yet! WHERE IS THE MONEY?!

Gah!

Tomorrow is sure to be better, right?

.... right?

Please say it's going to be better?

Please?

Wednesday FAIL

2009-08-12T21:42:00.010-08:00

Today was one giant pile of FAIL.

The children were obnoxious today, as they are any day during which we must leave the house. Before we left to take Melody to therapy, the children refused to do as they were told.

A couple of them didn't get lunch (they refused to stop playing and come to the table and we couldn't possibly leave late, not today!). One left the house without brushing his teeth. Another one was wearing yesterday's dirty pants and shirt. Yet another wasn't wearing socks. And the fourth one didn't finish her nap.

The frozen lasagna I chose for tonight's dinner took forever to cook, so we had sandwiches, instead (again). The lasagna was perfect and ready to eat at 8:00. The kids had been in bed for 5 minutes by then. Excellent timing, you stupid lasagna!

I was supposed to model for a friend at his studio tonight, but he forgot the battery for his camera. At home. 20 miles away. Not his fault, I've done something similar myself, but still. I was bummed.

I did, however, get to sit in the parking lot at the studio, reading my library book while I waited for my friend to arrive. All by myself! For 15 minutes! (In case you were wondering, it was awesome!)

And I did manage a shower, today... so I suppose today wasn't a total loss.

Girly-girl?

2009-08-11T01:10:00.009-08:00

I wore a dress in public today.

And I liked it.

Not just today, but twice last week, plus today. So that's three times this month, not counting Sundays. I also wore it to a wedding last week. So, four.

I think what I like about wearing the dress is that I don't have to "match" anything. Just throw on the dress and some shoes and I'm good to go. Simple.

***

I bought some heels a few months ago. Because it was our five-year anniversary and hubby deserved it.

I sat down on the bed and put them on. Stood up. One hand on the bookshelf, one hand on the wall, tried to take a step. My ankle wobbled--or perhaps it was the stupid 4-inch heels that wobbled--and I died.

A few months later, it was Father's Day. Brought out the heels. Died again.

A couple weeks ago, hubby had a rough day. Brought out the heels again.

Shockingly, magically, I did not die but was able to walk in them.

I took multiple steps across multiple rooms. Just like that. No practice (excepting previsouly mentioned). No idea how it happened. It just did. (I haven't been brave enough to try the shoes on the stairs, yet. But I don't even do stairs that steep in socks, so...)

If my sisters ever find out about the dress and the heels, they will die of laughter. Or possibly disown me. (My sisters are devout tomboys.)

This is the sort of thing that is brought up at every family dinner until the end of time, you know? Well, maybe you don't know. In my family, this is the sort of thing that is brought up at every family dinner until someone (me) starts a fight over it.

And then they just wait a few holidays before they bring it up again. And again and again and again.

Summer Time Blues

2009-08-04T22:43:00.022-08:00

20 days till school starts. For everyone. Including me.

Generally, our local school disrict starts the school year a week or so before the university starts classes. This year? No. All I can say is "I better have a three-week lag at the end of the school year, because I totally deserve it!"

Ahem.

The kids are excited about starting school. The school shopping (for the kids) is almost finished--just some random clothes, gym shoes, and a backpack to go, still. I still haven't purchased my textbooks. I will DEFINITELY be going the Amazon route this year. Last year, I purchased ALL the textbooks hubby and I needed for the price of ONE USED TEXTBOOK from the college bookstore.

Amazon, I heart you.

Also, can I just say that I would totally support a uniform policy should our school district care to implement one? Please? Uniforms for the kids are bound to be (1) cheaper and um... (2) cheaper. Even with coupons on a sale day, the gym shoes, new pants, backpacks and whatnot are going to break me. BREAK ME, I SAY.

I'm excited about going back to school and work, too. I will get to hang out with grown-ups every week, OMG! And occasionally get paid for it! SQUEEE!

Also, I am not being an utter dolt this semester, unlike last spring, in which I took three--count 'em, THREE--studio classes. In fact, I am not taking any art classes this semester. Shh, don't tell my photography advisor! I mean, I DO have an accounting degree I'd like to finish before I... I don't know... DIE.

Three of my classes are online this semester. I'll be attending class in a university-based chat room, from my couch, hopefully while still in my pajamas. With my groovin' headset. And, let's be honest, my generic diet cola, which I've come to like quite a bit more than Diet Pepsi. Blasphemy? Perhaps. But it's cheaper. See also: kids' school clothes, OMG.

I do have one face-to-face class which, true, I could have taken online, but the instructor is one of my favorites! How could I miss out on that?!

***

The kids are wrapping up their swimming lessons this week. Oh what a joy this has been. Also, a brilliant idea.

Max, who thinks he knows everything about everything, rarely listens to his instructor. Jimmy, who has practically zero body fat, has trouble staying afloat. Joey, who is terrified of water in his face, is just making life miserable for everyone.

And Melody, who is not actually taking swimming lessons because she is too young, keeps making a break for the water while I try (unsuccessfully, FYI) to make new mom-friends in the bleachers.

Can you belive I paid $150 for this torture?

And the kids want to do it again, next summer! Eek!

Torn

2009-07-30T00:55:00.003-08:00

My son told me tonight that he likes a particular girl who he's known for years but she suddenly got cute and interesting. Also, she's good at baseball, which is a major plus, obviously.

I was undecided between snickering hee-hee-that's-so-cute and WARNING! WARNING! FULL-ON FREAK-OUT ABOUT TO COMMENCE! THIS MOM WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS!

Also, AAAIIIIIIEEEEE! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY?!

We decided he'd better not tell his brothers because the last time he did that, they told the girl before he was ready and then things were all awkward on the bus for the rest of the school year. *sigh*

On the one hand, I'm glad he feels comfortable enough with me to tell me stuff like this.

But on the other hand, HELLO! DAD is much better at DEALING WITH stuff like this!

On the other-other hand, I'd just as soon not know. Leave me and my delusions alone, please.

But on the other-other-other hand, what if he'd told dad first?

*head explodes*

Irony

2009-07-26T15:39:00.001-08:00

How was church, you ask?

Well. It was an awful lot like this... http://www.arcamax.com/familycircus

And then we left early. And now the kids are napping, so it's better.

Are You Smarter Than Your Cellphone?

2009-07-24T00:09:00.003-08:00

No. I am not.

My cell was doing this weird thing where it wouldn't ring when it was on the charger. Because I had (mistakenly, obvs) programmed it to do that.

THREE WEEKS LATER, I figured out how to fix it.

I'm awesome.

I feel sleepy, oh so sleepy

2009-07-23T23:38:00.006-08:00

I haven't been getting a lot of sleep, lately so I've been sleeping in more than I should (my house is a DISASTER right now). Yippy-neighbor-dogs-keeping-me-up-at-night are only a small part of my problem, however.

The problem is, I am one of those people who NEEDS regular and frequent alone time, but I am almost never alone. Not in the car, not in my bed, not while I'm shopping, not in the shower, not even in the loo. The last one irks me more than the others, I think.

So to compensate, I stay up later than I should.

It's so quiet, I can hear the heater and the refrigerator!

Sometimes I dink around on Facebook playing games (Bejeweled!! ZOMG!) Mostly I just read--blogs, news, etc.--because it's QUIET and no one is BUGGING ME.

Small town living

2009-07-10T14:36:00.007-08:00

Once or twice a year, I get the urge to move to The City. We could Do Things in The City!

The City has a zoo! The closest I can get to a zoo is laughing at my neighbor's llamas when they escape their fence and eat weeds at the end of my driveway. My favorite: their guilty expressions when their owner realizes they have escaped and comes looking for them. Priceless! We also have moose that visit periodically and a coyote. A couple summers ago, a grizzly bear was spotted in our neighborhood, but I never saw it.

As an educated Native Alaskan woman, I could get a really, really good job in The City. (Native preference. Generally applies only at native-owned/operated companies.)

I could go to concerts, plays, and performances!

The City has more than two movie theaters! We have two movie theaters in Kenai/Soldotna. One in Soldotna, one in Kenai. They never, ever, ever show the same movie at both theaters. NEVER.

**********

I went to sign the kids up for swimming lessons, today. I met their swimming instructor, too. I've known DK, the instructor, since elementary school (we rode the same bus) and he was on my high school swim team. DK is SUCH a nice guy. And he's a fantastic swimmer. I couldn't be more pleased that he will be teaching my kids to swim!

It's things like this that keep me living in my small town. The City doesn't even compare!

Ow

2009-07-07T01:06:00.008-08:00

I finally figured out why my neck has been hurting so dang much. It's because of my stupid hair. The picture doesn't show it very well, but my hair is incredibly thick and rather long... just like it's been for the last 18 years or so. And it's quite a lot of weight to carry around on the top of my head. Haircut. I's a-gettin' one. I'm willing to do the following hair care & maintenance tasks and to use the following items:

wash & condition (religiously)
blow-dry (not regularly)
mousse/hair-spray (sporadically)
hair bands (personal favorite)
barettes
headbands
ball cap (also a favorite)
use sunglasses to hold hair out of my face (obviously)

I hardly ever need to look professional--I rarely "dress up" even for church--because we're casual around here.

I'll do bangs, one-length, layers, short, super-short, whatever. I just want my hair to look nice without my having to do an awful lot to make it happen.

Also, whatever haircut I wind up with needs to look decent-ish even if I don't go back for a trim for five or six months.

Suggestions?

What's in a name?

2009-07-01T20:45:00.001-08:00

Okay. Seriously, this re-naming of my blog has GOT TO STOP. But I've got no ideas for a good name for this here blog. Suggestions? Anyone?

Road Trip X 2

2009-07-01T10:40:00.006-08:00

Last Monday, I went up to my mom's house in Anchorage to help her clean her house (she's selling it). We cleaned everything, including the window sills using Simple Green and a Q-tip (honest).

And of course I checked my own window sills when I got home and OMG. Pass the Simple Green, please.

But our hard work paid off in the end! Mom already got an offer on the house and it hasn't even been on the market a week, yet! Woo-hoo! (It wasn't a good offer, but still.)

In other news...

Our track record for Children Puking On Every @#%& Road Trip is still intact.

My niece's birthday party was on Sunday in Anchorage. So we went up early Saturday, took our time on the drive, and went to the zoo in the afternoon. Photos here: http://tiny.cc/yN5or

The kids were uncommonly good, despite not having regular meals and/or naps.

And actually, only one kid got sick. AND he had the decency to wait until we got to my sister's house where there was an actual bathroom. So, you know, could've been worse.

The birthday party was fun. We made it home alive and all that.

The very next day, the day of hubby's surgery when I was supposed to be taking care of him, I got sick. And so did two of the kids. We were thinking it was the soup we had for lunch, but EVERYONE had the soup and not everyone got sick.

I'm feeling better today and the kids must be feeling better because HOLY HECK they are acting like animals.

In which the drama continues...

2009-06-25T22:35:00.008-08:00

I'd had enough of the kids by about 2:30 this afternoon so I kicked them out to play during a brief window of sunshine between thunderstorms, which are highly unusual in my part of Alaska.

We've had more thunderstorms these last two summers than we've had during any 10-year stretch ending before five years ago. Honest. I've lived here my whole life, I know these things. Although, we did have snow one 4th of July when I was about five, c. 1982...

Melody was napping so I went to my bedroom to lay down quietly and read a book until I got sleepy and then perhaps take a little nap myself. Neighbors' yappy poodles started yapping, my dog started yapping, kids came looking for me because somebody got hurt playing "kick the bucket" *snort* (they couldn't find a can). I gave up reading/napping and started washing dishes, then checked my email.

Max got an email address for his birthday last year and until he's older than 10, it's set up to bounce incoming and outgoing emails to my inbox. He got an email from his biological father today. *sigh*

Bio-dad says that he didn't abandon Max (Ha! But I suppose that depends on how you define "abandonded." He apparently subscribes to a defenintion that doesn't include "not calling, not visiting, and not writing for more than six years." Whatever, dude.) and he says that he and I were both childish (true) and wants to get together soon and provided his cell number.

On the plus side, bio-dad goes back to work on the North Slope (Google it, tippy-top of Alaska.) for six months, beginning just after the 4th of July.

I, for one, cannot WAIT until he's out of sight.

Also, Max didn't remember to call bio-dad on Father's Day and instead spent the day with hubby (who still plans to adopt him ASAP). He even made hubby a homemade card (because I still can't find the ones I bought. What?)

The only nice thing that happened today: I somehow managed a nice, homecooked dinner. (I know!) But it was one of those "hmm, I'm out of this, but maybe this will work instead" kind of things. I basically invented a tasty chicken dish with ranch-honey mustard-cream cheese sauce with green beans and garlic bread. It totally rocked!

But I will never, ever be able to replicate that sauce because I didn't write anything down, I didn't use measuring cups or measuring spoons, and I foolishly put the spices away when I was done using them and I can't remember exactly which ones I used, now.

Oops.

You'll love this...

2009-06-16T13:54:00.003-08:00

So. I was "helping" the boys clean their room (a.k.a. "forcing" & "directing" & "pointing" & "saying 'you pick this up' to the kids") and I kept smelling pee from somewhere in their room. I'd changed the blankets and sheets on all the beds, there were no nasty pull-ups lurking in corners/under beds (I checked) but I still kept smelling pee!

I discovered Jimmy's stash of potty accident laundry in ALL of his DRESSER DRAWERS. Now I have to re-wash his entire wardrobe just to be on the safe side.

His reasoning? He didn't think mommy would find the clothes if they were hidden in his dresser drawers.

Rednecks-R-Us or "Reasons why I drive a Ford"

2009-06-11T22:00:00.010-08:00

"We live in Ghetto-ville, babe" I says to hubby not five minutes ago.

------------------------------------

Earlier...

Hubby locked himself out of his truck today. It gets better. Just wait.

Apparently, when you use the remote to lock the doors on hubby's truck and then later you open the door with the key (because the battery died on the remote some time between arriving at work and wanting to go home already), the truck does this weird disconnect-the-battery-so-the-truck-won't-start thing. Because, you know, EVERYONE wants to steal an under-powered 1993 Chevy Suburban. I sure do!

Jumping the truck didn't work. But replacing the battery in the remote did!

And then on the way home, hubby realized that ALL FOUR BLINKERS were out on his truck. Luckily, he got home without getting pulled over, but still...

And it's one of those trucks where every little, crucial thing is difficult-in-the-extreme to get at.

Hubby is currently removing the grill AND headlights to get at the front blinkers and this, of course, is AFTER he had to contort himself into a pretzel in the roomy-but-not-nearly-roomy-enough back of the truck to get the screwdriver to go into an itsy-bitsy hole, at the back of which were the screws for the rear tail lights.

----------------------------------------

"We live in Ghetto-ville, babe" I says.

"Rednecks-R-Us" he replies.

I laugh. "That's an excellent title for a blog!"

foot, meet mouth

2009-06-10T20:45:00.009-08:00

Oh, hi there.

Remember when I said that ex would be seeing Max over my dead body and all? Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ha?

Max has decided that he wants to get to know his father again. So. I get to go have coffee with ex and wifey #2. (Because ex is too chicken shit to meet me alone? Or something? Maybe?)

Anyway.

I've written a contract for ex to sign, detailing how many visits per month, how many hours per visit, what happens if a visit is missed, how a missed visit is to be defined, etc. It's rather harsh, actually. But we tried the whole "informal approach" and look what happened. (Six years, no visits/calls/letters/any-freaking-thing...) Which brings us to today. Or rather, Saturday. That's when I'm meeting Them.

I don't know wifey #2 very well and I don't like ex AT ALL. Shocker, I know. I hate him for what he's done to my baby. Hate him, I tell you. And we're going to go have coffee together. Fun. I'd rather be doing anything else. ANYTHING ELSE, PLEASE!

I'm not expecting ex to actually sign the contract I wrote (by myself, thankyouverymuch) and when he refuses, I'll inform him that he has two other options.

Pay for us to go to mediation, where I will insist on what's in the contract already in front of him and nothing more or less.
Or he can sign the form which states that he agrees to Max being adopted by his step-father.

Because either way, he's signing SOMTHING. Or the meeting is over and it will take a court order at the very least for him to see my kid again.

Mama Bear is angry. Watch out!

in which karma catches up with me

2009-06-08T00:13:00.006-08:00

Ran into ex-husband yesterday at Lowes.

It was bound to happen. He moved back to our hometown area-ish two years ago so...

And I was even nice to him. (Don't judge. He saw me first. If I'd had even five seconds warning, I would have either (1) disappeared or (2) been an outright bitch. But I had no warning and was feeling all caught-off-guard like and awkward and I did the best I could, okay?)

Of course Max saw him and we had to stop and chat.*

He invited us to his house for a BBQ. Honest. He did.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking what I was thinking: "IS HE OUT OF HIS EVER LOVIN' MIND?!"

And of course he wants to talk to Max "if Kathy agrees."

Huh.

I think ex and I need to go have a nice cup of coffee, just the two of us. If (ha!) he can manage to convince me that

he is not a complete ass
he deserves any kind of a chance
I shouldn't throw something heavy at him

Then, maybe...

Well, actually, there's no "maybe" about it. He will see the kid again with a court order AND over my dead body.

So there.

*My favorite part of running into him was the part where Max had no idea who ex was and when he realized that it was his very own, biological father, greeted him with "Hi FirstName" and shook his had before giving him a very brief hug, like you do with an uncle you've been told that you met, but that was when you were a baby and for the life of you, you don't remember a thing about him.

A Little Snag

2009-06-04T13:08:00.004-08:00

Okay. Not so much "a little snag" but more like "a giant hang-up."

You know those phone calls. The ones where a pleasant, articulate, and calm RobotGirl calls your house, saying things like "Your warrenty/insurance/life as we know it/etc. is about to expire! Please consider this your final notice. Press 9 to be connected to someone who can help you!"

So you press 9.

LivePerson, who refuses to give her name or direct you to her supervisor, answers the phone and asks your name (who's calling who, here?).

You very, very politely say "I'd like to speak with someone about being removed from your call list, please."

And instead of transferring your call, or asking for crucial, inportant details (like the phone number to be removed from the call list!), the little bitch hangs up on you.

So you call back.

And instead of getting LivePerson on the line, it's RobotGirl2. She tells you "Thank you for calling X Corp. To be removed from our call list, please press 1."

So you press 1. RobotBoy comes on the line and says "Thank you." And then he hangs up on you, too.

It should go something like this...

"Press 9 to be connected to someone who can help you!"

"Oh, hello! May I have your name, please?"

"This is Kathy."

Insert sales pitch here.

"Do you have any questions, Kathy?" (Now that LivePerson knows my name, she will use it repeatedly until I want to change it to something else, just to quit hearing the same name at the end of every sentence! OMG!)

"Yes, I do have some quesitons. Can I have your name and home phone number so I can call you a kerjillion times this week? And what, pray tell are your baby's nap times? I sure don't want to miss those! Ha-ha! And by the way, how did you get my number, anyway? Oh, and one more thing. I'd like to speak to someone about being removed from your call list, please."

And then, before she has a moment to gather her thoughts, I hang up on HER. Ha!

a first

2009-06-02T00:13:00.003-08:00

Plans are underway for my first-ever garage sale!

And I still have so much to do! I won't bore you with the long list, but with less than three weeks to go, I'll just say that #1 I've not completed nearly enough of my to-do list and #2 OMG what a lot of work this is!

Besides making sure all sale items:

are clean,
are in good repair, and
have all their pieces.

What else should I do to be sure that I'm ready?

Since this garage sale is a 2-family effort, color-coded stickers are a must (obviously). But that feels... too simple. There should be more for me to do than sort the stuff from my house and put stickers on everything. What else could there be?

Suggestions? Advice?

Not again!

2009-05-29T12:53:00.005-08:00

My little sister came to visit us last week and brought her husband and their darling baby, Z, with her.

Watching Melody with Z was too, too cute. Melody was such a good helper--picking up Z's binky when it was dropped/thrown, sharing her blankets and toys, hugging Z, and of course reminding us that the bottle was for "Baby Z," and not for Melody, who is "a big girl." Melody drew the line at willingly sharing her pajamas and her Poppy, however.

Z is a big kid. She'll be 1 in August and she can wear Melody's pajamas (I forced the issue)--for reference purposes, Melody turned 2 in March. Eep! I hadn't really realized what a shrimp Melody is until I had the opportunity to compare her to an acutal baby!

Almost makes me sad that Melody will never have the opportunity to be a big sister. Almost. Tube-tying is a more-or-less permament decision to Never Have Kids Again. And as much as I love babies, we can stop, now. Half of the grandkids on my side of the family are my own children! I think I've contributed enough, 4 is good!

Stranger Danger

2009-05-21T13:11:00.002-08:00

We went to church on Sunday for the first time in, like, ever. We had toys, books, some non-messy snacks, etc. I even managed to find nice clothes that fit properly for the kids! We were totally prepared!

Ha. NOT.

It was a special service, a sort of conference-type thing which means an extra hour in the chapel but no Sunday school.

Melody did great for about 45 minutes. Read her books, played with her toys, and then got bored. She played with everything in my purse, everything from Dad's pockets, AND nana's watch and calculator--bought us another 30 minutes. But then she got bored again.

So we took to wandering the halls where she showed her new shoes and pretty denim jumper (with "pock-eeks") to all the other parents who were roaming the halls with their bored and wiggly children.

With about ten minutes left of the service, we wander back towards our seats and Melody spots this big Hawaiian guy (Samnoan? Tongan? Dunno. HUGE GUY.), runs over to him and gives him a big hug. He picked her up, hugged her back, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Then she leaned back to look at him and realized "OMG I don't know this guy! MOMMY! SAVE ME!"

Funniest. Thing. EVER!

Vacation: Day 1

2009-05-21T12:22:00.002-08:00

First day of summer vacation totally has not gone as planned.

Unbeknownst to me, my little sister made plans to come to my place and stay the weekend. She got into an accident when she was practically here (She's fine, the baby's fine, her husband is fine! Fine, fine, fine! Her car... not so much.) and is now taking a nap in my bed with her baby. My truck isn't big enough to hold all of us and I'm not going to leave her here with the baby, but without her hubby (he's camping, wtf?) and their car (wrecked).

*sigh*

I had wanted to go to the library, have snacks when we got home, then a nap for Melody while the boys and I sorted their books (I'm thinking HALF OF THEM NEED TO GO OMG--er, half the books, not half the children... although...).

Oh well. I'm caught up on laundry and dishes, now, though.

looking up

2009-04-27T12:01:00.004-08:00

Ever had an "everything is going my way" day? Awesome, aren't they? Now, imagine several of them in a row (Then several more. Etc.) and you've got my last few weeks. Nice, eh?

I applied for (and got) that summer job. I applied for another job for the fall semester and got it, too.

I won a contest for designing the cover of the college's fall class schedule--EEEE!--and I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out.

The least of my efforts on homework is rewarded with A's (suh-weet!) and, okay, I kind of feel guilty about that one, but it's not like I'm cheating or anything, so I'll take it! And also, the least of MY efforts are definitely more than the least of SOMEONE ELSE'S efforts, so...

My allergy medicine is working SO GREAT! I actually feel human right now! Wooo-hoooo!

Insurance for hubby's and my vehicles dropped almost $1000/year a couple of weeks ago.

It's like everything I touch turns to gold. It's freaking awesome!

Now would be the perfect time to file adoption paperwork, wouldn't it? And that's why our lawyer filed the paperwork last week! Boo-ya!

FYI, we heard from ex-husband last week. He did not ask to see the kiddo. He did not apologize--like we expected that, right?--nor did he agree to give his consent to Brandon adopting the kiddo. Actually, ex-husband said "over his dead body" or something like that.

Well, he can fight us all he wants, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on and he knows it and I can prove it. Also, kiddo is old enough to consent to his own adoption under Alaska State Law. Ha ha!

Bombs away

2009-04-09T12:56:00.009-08:00

I had every intention of writing a blog about family-related drama that has been going on this week. I even had most of a blog written, but I changed my mind and deleted it. Without knowing the backstory (or even if you did) the drama and my reaction to it wouldn't make much sense to you. And writing the blog was starting to seriously piss me off, so...

It's April!

Regular readers and long-time friends know that "April" is Kathy-code for "Hold on to your butt, it's about to hit the fan!"

I don't know why, but April has traditionally been a month of high drama for me. Life-changing drama that I cannot change or affect in any way. I can only endure and hope that I survive.

This year, "April" actually started in March with some work-related drama that has caused me to re-think my continued employment--so much so that I applied for a different job yesterday.

Family-drama has partially replaced work-drama, but neither situation has been resolved as of yet. And a typical "April" lasts as long as 8 weeks, so I've still got about a month of this nonsense to go. *sigh*

I know that I cannot change the people involved nor can I convince them that their actions, words, beliefs, etc. are at the root of this drama (they TOTALLY ARE).

Best laid plans

2009-04-05T13:36:00.008-08:00

Making a Loch Ness Monster cake for Joey's birthday seemed like SUCH A GOOD IDEA and so simple, too! A single box of cake mix, bake in a bundt pan. (Seriously, how cute is this?)

In retrospect, this cake was a colossally bad idea because "Someone" (Joey, the Birthday Boy) decided a taste of the frosting was in order and tipped the cake over on its side just after I'd finished frosting it.

There was no way to fix it in time, so I put candles on top of the tipped-over (he kind of looks drunk, doesn't he?) Loch Ness Monster's body and we ate him.

Bah. And Double-Bah.

2009-03-24T20:48:00.006-08:00

Even though I'm back at work/school and hanging out with grown-ups all day (i.e. NOT ON "VACATION" WITH THE CHILDREN w00t!), this week has pretty much sucked anyway because:

Despite having had TEN DAYS to get caught up on my homework, I'm still behind (but, you know, not as much behind).
Drama. It's like a made-for-TV-movie around here. And who writes my lines, any how? That guy should be fired!

Example. Me, to best friend, not realizing that co-worker can hear my phone call: So if he's not dead, where has he been?!
Melody, who was sick already last week, has been suspended from daycare until she doesn't have a fever, any more. SHE DIDN'T HAVE ONE WHEN SHE WOKE UP, I SWEAR! And tomorrow is totally not the day for me to stay home. Two classes, a meeting, work stuff...
I almost went in the ditch again on my way home. Heart-stopping and no harm done. But still. Bring on spring! Or at least Break Up! (Break Up is the time between Winter and Summer, more commonly known as Spring in places which are not, you know, ALASKA.)
I'm completely uninspired re: my body of work for Advanced Drawing. I'm supposed to come up with five drawings (due in approximately five weeks) centered around the same theme and... I've got nothing. My teacher has given me several parameters for these drawings, which are supposed to force me to be more creative, but at this point I'm just frustrated. And uninspired. Oh wait, I already said that. And I'm too uninspired to come up with another word that means the same thing as uninspired.
Homeschool for Max is looking more and more likely and I'm NOT loving the idea.
Because guess who gets to homeschool him!
Me.
Bah.

par-tay (updated)

2009-03-20T23:26:00.006-08:00

We're having Joey's birthday tomorrow and:

My mother and Little Sister #2 are both coming (with my neice).
Little Sister #1 isn't coming becuase my dad will be here.
I just found out that my dad WON'T be coming to the party because mom will be here.
And of course my brother and his wife live too far away, so I wasn't really expecting them. (But this blog isn't about Little Brother.)
We didn't even invite the IL's because they have been no-showing at the kids' birthday parties for, like two YEARS (but enough about THEM).

WTF?

The party will last about 2 hours. Can't we just NOT act like immature assholes for two hours? I'm making a Loch Ness Monster cake for the love of God! If you can't come for JOEY (who for some strange reason WANTS my insane family at his party) at least come admire my cake!

GAH!

**** UPDATE ****

Since dad won't be here for sure, mom is calling Little Sister #1 to see if she wants to get a ride down here with mom and Little Sister #2. That would be nice, Little Sister #1's fiance won't be able to come (tons of homework), but that's okay, their kids will be here along with their mom and that would be awesome!

ten

2009-03-19T21:57:00.005-08:00

The top ten reasons I'm pissed off right now:

10. Sick people. Four sick kids and a sick husband in my house. Whee. (I probably wouldn't be so pissed off about hubby being sick if he hadn't been sleeping on the couch since 10 O'CLOCK THIS MORNING. It's 10pm now and he's STILL SLEEPING ON THE COUCH. Go to bed already!)

9. Whining. (Five sick people in my house! 'Nuf said.)

8. Spring Break. Just me, at home, all alone with FOUR SICK CHILDREN AND A SICK HUSBAND.

7. Fighting. (The kids are well enough to fight, but not well enough to play out side.)

6. Begging for video games. (Not until their bedroom is clean.)

5. Begging for ice cream/other sugary treats. Hello child, YOU ARE SICK. SICK CHILDREN DO NOT GET ICE CREAM OR MOMMY'S M&M'S.

4. The word no. Especially when coming from Melody after I've told her not to take her clothes or diaper off. Double especially when the diaper is poopy.

3. Dad. Love him, but DEAR GOD GET YOUR OWN HOUSE ALREADY! (He's back from his vacation. And taking up space in my living room. AGAIN.)

2. Mess/clutter.

1. Mess/clutter. I'm SO PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS that it gets the top TWO spots. Am I the only one who doesn't want to live in a disaster zone? If so, WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD? And if not, WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES ANYTHING ABOUT IT?

Poop

2009-03-16T20:43:00.035-08:00

It's been a crappy day.

And not the existential "woe is me, everything about my day has been wrong and/or inconvenient" type of crap.

No.

Today has been filled with literal crap.

You'd think that, at almost six years old, Joey would know how to wipe his own butt, wouldn't you? Ha. I could smell him on the other end of the couch several minutes after he came out of the bathroom. I handed him Melody's box of wipes, told him to go into the bathroom and finish the job properly.

Fifteen wipes later (Oh, how I wish I was kidding!) I had to go into the bathroom and help him.

People, it only took me one wipe!

Later, Max went into the bathroom only to come running right back out. Those fifteen wipes? Yeah. IN THE TOILET. Blargh. Thank God Joey didn't try to flush them all! OMFG!

I got a bread bag (Expensive! But I was proving a point and, unlike grocery bags, bread bags are practically guaranteed NOT to have holes.), tied the end closed around Joey's elbow and made him fish every single wipe out of the toilet and deposit it in the garbage.

Bwaha.

Melody woke up from her (very long) nap not much later and, you guessed it, had pooped not long after she'd laid down and... well, just "ew."

Speaking of Melody, she's officially moved to a toddler bed!

Well, that was The Plan, anyway.

The toddler bed had been stored in the shed, right? Well, while I was working on taking the crib apart and tidying up Melody's room, Brandon got the toddler bed from the shed. Apparently, the shrews had gotten to it before he did and it was covered in shew poop. Ew, ew, ew! He ran us out of hot water washing it up, but it's fit to sleep in now! Too bad it wasn't finished by the time Melody went to bed (on her crib mattress on the floor).

She actually went straight to sleep, didn't play or make a mess or anything.

I know!

Don't expect that to continue through nap time tomorrow, though.

In other news...

Even though it's still tecnhically winter, we're all on Spring Break. Brandon is taking the opportunity to work more than 20 hours this week and I'm home with the kids, three of whom are sick.

The boys have what appears to be the flu, minus the stomach issues: fever, chills, body/joint aches, sleepy, sore throat, etc.

Luckily, Melody, Branon, and I haven't caught their cold, but you and I both know that it's just a matter of time.

So until I get sick, I've been alternating getting caught up on homework (Seems like I can only be caught up in one class at a time. What's up with that?) and housework (Only one room clean at a time. What's up with that?).

But I really have to get cracking, because we're having Joey's birthday party on Saturday, compelte without out-of-town, staying-at-our-place-overnight guests.

Eek!

sigh

2009-03-13T09:33:00.010-08:00

I've been feeling kind of down, lately. See, the thing is, I don't really fit in anywhere.

I'm too "accountant-ish" for the art crowd and too "artsy" for the accounting crowd.

I fit in with my family of course--Home, the one place where they have to take you in!--and I fit in with the restaurant crowd, but I don't work in a restaurant any more (I miss it so, so much). I also fit in with you guys, but most of you I don't see IRL, so you're totally not helping here! Just kidding... sort of.

What makes me think I don't fit in?

Well.

Whenever I say anything; doesn't matter what I say, where I am, or who's around--I get Looks. Weird Dang Looks.

Oh yeah, and Awkward Silences.

I'm not particularly profound. I'm not (usually) rude and I try really hard to use words with more than four letters, if you know what I mean.

So I honestly don't think that my random comments are worthy of Weird Dang Looks.

I'm just feeling out of the loop and I don't think anyone in my IRL circle (school/work/church) understands me.

I just want to be able to share a thought without people Looking At Me Funny.

Example: I was in my math class one morning and I was whining about being behind in another class. I said something like "Oh my GOD, I am so fucking behind in my drawing class!" (complete with Whining Body Posture). A fellow student said "Wow! Tell us how you really feel about it, Kathy!"

I get that a lot. What's up with that? Apparently I'm supposed to Pretend Everything is Peachy Keen when in reality I'm so far behind in my drawing class that I'll be spending two hours a day (more than that = better) getting caught up over Spring Break.

And that's not the first time I've had someone sarcastically say "Tell us how you really feel about it, Kathy!"

And the whole Awkward Silence Thing?

Humph.

I would be Awkwardly Silent if someone said something profound and I was pondering the comment or if I was talking to a really smart person and I didn't understand what that person said.

I'm not uber-smart or profound and the awkward silences make me really uncomfortable. I feel like I did something wrong.

Example: In church, our women's Sunday School has a sort of an open forum discussion thing going. Every one is free to pipe up with a comment or quick story (as long as it's relevant to the topic at hand and no interrupting).

When I have a comment/story, I share it. After I've finished speaking, no one says a word. There are Awkward Glances that accompany the Awkward Silence. My comment coming from the mouth of someone else would not be Awkward--I know, because I've been on the verge of sharing a story, been beaten to the punch by someone else who shares an eerily similar story and That Person gets a murmur of approval from the crowd.

And then there's me--I get Awkward.

I need new friends.

I need a friend.

*sigh*

Wiener

2009-03-05T23:16:00.007-09:00

I did not find an opaque white blouse for our show opening tonight. And after wearing jeans for so many months on end, wearing slacks felt weird, so I changed back into my jeans.

I didn't look classy, as per The Plan. But my photo won Best in Show anyway! And I got $100 in addition to bragging rights!

I'm a wiener! Er, winner. Whatever.

Bee buzz

2009-03-05T22:30:00.006-09:00

I must have been a serial killer in a past life. Or an adultress. Or... something else equally as bad.

But I clearly got away with whatever it was and am now paying for it in this life. Karma. It's a killer.

The night before our big road trip to The City for the Big Deal Spelling Bee (state-wide, my fourth-grader was representing his ENTIRE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL OMG) I came down with the 24-hour flu and I directed the packing with my eyes closed from the semi-comfort of the couch.

Bad, bad, bad idea.

After we arrived in The City at mom's house, on the morning of the spelling bee (also my birthday), I sent the kids off to get dressed and:

Max, the oldest and our contestent in the Big Deal Spelling Bee, came back wearing pants that would fit ME if I lost about 20 pounds. He's 10 for the love of God.
Joey, our Kindergartener, was wearing pants that were too small for him two years ago!
WHY WERE THOSE PANTS NOT AT A THRIFT STORE WHERE THEY BELONG INSTEAD OF IN SOMEONE'S DRESSER?! I really want to know!
Jimmy had no clean socks after being "on the road" for approximately 18 hours. WTF?

See, this is what happens when mom gets sick: the entire household falls completely apart.

The kids packed ridiculous crap instead of properly fitting occasion-appropriate clothing and honestly, the whole packing situation was so bad it was beyond swear words.

Kids packing = utter nonsense.

That's the best I can do.

They did remember to bring an arsenal of projectiles and copious amounts of Whine, however.

Priorities.

So Max didn't win the Big Deal Spelling Bee and if I wasn't already in the running for the Bad Mom of the Year Award this little admission will surely put me in line for it: I wasn't expecting him to win the thing. Hoping, yes. Expecting, no. Hello! He's 10!

He went out in the second round on the word "nemesis." (He'll never misspell that word again, anyway.) He's still the best speller in his school. And we had "win or lose" cupcakes and a trip to the Build-A-Bear Workshop.

Totally not to do with anything: why is it that we can never get out of that dang Build-A-Bear store without spending at least $50? What's up with that?

Curse you, Murphy, and your little law, too

2009-02-27T19:57:00.020-09:00

Melody woke up shrieking last night, covered in the most vile vomit I've seen yet in my 10+ years of parenting.

Ew.

Brandon washed her up, and I cleaned up Melody's bed, did lotion after her bath, got her dressed, gave her medicine, and tucked her back in, where she promptly fell back asleep. (Brandon got off easy because he's been sick, too.)

So I overslept this morning, because who plans to do all that after midnight, anyway?

I overslept so much that we didn't even leave the house before the bus was scheduled to be at our stop.

A little snippet from my acceptance speech for the Bad Mom of the Year Award that is surely coming my way: "I'd like to thank Melody for keeping me up late cleaning vomit from inside her ears so that I could oversleep the next morning and make the school-age children miss the bus. Thank you!"

But on the way to take the boys to school, we kept seeing children standing on the side of the road... I finally asked the boys if the kids we were seeing rode their bus. "Yes, they all do!" Huh.

We were almost all the way to town when we saw the bus on the side of the road, probably broken down. That poor bus driver was so far behind schedule, there was NO WAY he was making it to school on time or even reasonably late, for that matter.

The boys made it to school on time because someone, somewhere loves me and not only were the roads good (in February!) but it was sunny and beautiful, to boot. And I moved Melody's carseat from its convenient spot next to the door behind the driver's seat over one spot to the middle of the bench seat, thusly splitting up Jimmy and Joey so they can't poke each other or whatever it is they do that is so annoying that they Must Whine Incessantly And Of Course Tattle-Tale.

It was also -4F, but hey, sunshine is sunshine, people--especially at 8:30 in the morning!

After dropping of the kids, I had to go pick up more matboard (expensive) because I'm a dope and only got enough for the front of my pictures (they're matted on the back, too) that were both supposed to be matted, framed, and hung last night by 6:30. Oops. The store was closed by then, so...

That store also doesn't open until 9:00. So I had a half hour and a gift certificate, courtesy of my mother, for our local department store.

I want to look classy at our show opening on Thursday. I was thinking white blouse, black slacks, black flats, funky jewelry. But my only white blouse is totally see-through and is really only appropriate under sweaters and art openings around here are usually crowded and hot, so no sweater.

I didn't find a blouse, but I did try.

I also:

(1) Can't measure
(2) Or tell time
(3) And apparently don't know what year it is, either

Which all resulted in me cutting my matboards twice each (waste! waste! Ack!), which made me late to meet my teacher at the location of our show (I got there just as my instructor was leaving), so I went home and helped Brandon take care of Melody who is now perfectly healthy and has spent most of her day running around with a baby blanket tied around her neck and shouting "Super!"

I met back up with the teacher and some other students later this afternoon and noticed item #3, I don't know what year it is. Had to scrounge up a screwdriver and a pencil with a decent eraser, take both of my frames apart, erase "2008" from the signature line and write "2009" in its place.

But all is now well because:

(1) Melody is "Super!"
(2) My matboard is measured perfectly
(3) My photographs are correctly labeled "2009"
(4) And no one saw my bra because I wasn't wearing that white blouse.

But our opening on Thursday might be a different story. Stay tuned...

the cowboy way

2009-02-23T20:44:00.011-09:00

The boys have gotten into all things cowboy, lately--a nice change from dinosaurs and piratey-things, to be sure. This sudden interest has been helped along in part, I'm sure, by Brandon, who wore his boots and hat (in public!) on our anniversary to tease me, 'cuz, you know, I couldn't do anything about it just then.

Now, they all want to be cowboys. Sure, fine, whatever.

Jimmy: Will you and dad teach me to be a cowboy?

Me: Uh, I guess so...

Jimmy: When is the first cowboy lesson?

Me: (Instantly develops Plan of Supreme Evil.) It's a suprise.

Later, Max started picking on Jimmy. Again.

Me: Suprise! First cowboy lesson: Cowboy up, cupcake!

Jimmy: What does that mean?

Me: Stop whining and deal with it.

Muahahaha!

And he thinks I'm doing him a favor. Awesome!

Crime and punishment

2009-02-22T18:35:00.006-09:00

If I hear "mommy, mommy, mommy" one more time today, I'm putting myself up for adoption!

Melody had to walk past Brandon to come stand by me and whine. And whine she did. She's in bed now. The ultimate injustice. Make her go to bed when she's actually tired? The horror!

The boys have been no better.

We had a major meltdown in communication this afteroon with "Tidy up your room" interpreted as "Play noisly upstairs so you wake up your sister. And don't forget to hit each other!"

I suppose this is my punishment for not taking the children to church. There's a frightening logic to that.

But church starts at 1:00 and Melody's nap is from about 12:00 to 1:30-ish. Sometimes 2:00. Either her nap needs to start earlier (which also means getting up earlier, egads), or she needs to sleep at church (ha!), or she needs to skip her nap on Sundays and go to bed earlier (double ha!).

There's no winning here, I fear. At least, not for me.

It's lonely at the top.

2009-02-21T23:49:00.004-09:00

My first blog was looking a little lonely all by itself on my new Blogger blog. So, here's a second one to keep it company.

I'll be referring to my family by their actual names this time around because their blog aliases I was using on MySpace were a little unweildy. I know that will take some getting used to for my long-term readers.

The Cliff Notes version:

Godbrother is Max.
Mr. Nice Guy is Jimmy.
The Narrator is Joey.
Sugar Baby is Melody.
Hubby is Brandon.
Mama Mia is me, Kathy.

MyWhat?

2009-02-21T22:53:00.006-09:00

I'm giving up MySpace.

All right, stop it with the collective gasp! The only real reason I ever logged in was to read blogs by my favorite bloggers and to catch up with my friends. I can do that on Facebook with far less drama. So. MySpace out, Facebook in.

And I'll be blogging here, now, too.

In other news...

The student art show is coming up at the college in April. I've got some things in mind to submit, but of course only one of them is finished.

There's an expressive painting of the dog that I like. Instead of his actual black and gray, he's yellow, orange, and purple. He looks friendly and playful.

I'm working on an assignment for my Digital Art and Design class that should turn out pretty cool, too. It's a poster design for an event, an imaginary event in my particular case. The kids are modeling for me for this one. They love it. Because they're crazy.

I might enter my Tlingit Raven Dancer sculpture, but he kind of fell completely apart and I haven't gotten him welded back together, yet. Kind of bummed out about that.

And a picture of Jimmy and his stuffed bunny that turned out really well. This is the only one that's finished! Ack! So much work to do!